Through Whitey's Eyes

The Good, the Bad, the Funny, and the Ugly

2011-12-15T16:17:00.001+09:00

What’s it like to work as a Korean government official?

After having taught Koreans in Los Angeles for seven years, I came to Seoul in 2003. I was fortunate enough, in my second year here, to land a job at a Korean government training institute. I teach English to Korean government officials. My workplace, the Central Officials Training Institute, is in Gwacheon. (If you don’t know Gwacheon, it is south of the city on subway line 4. It’s a bedroom community, and home to Seoul Land, the Museum of Contemporary Art, the new science museum, and the horse racetrack, from the grandstand of which the towers of southern Seoul can be seen.) We are at the foot of Gwanak Mtn.; from my window I have a nice view of the base of the mountain and the beautiful trees on our campus. It’s lovely this time of year.

I am technically a Korean government official. Working as a government official has its perks. It also has its downsides. I’ve decided to describe my experiences in my position in four parts: the GOOD, the BAD, the FUNNY, and the UGLY.

THE GOOD

The students are great. Koreans work well in teams. The students in our programs work well together. The attendance is mandatory; the students are punctual. Because the government service is such a close-knit world, the students feel a kind of healthy peer pressure to keep up and to give their best efforts.

The students can be divided into roughly three groups:

The students over the age of 50 are typically ajeossi (아저씨, literally “uncle”; commonly, middle-aged men). This can be a tough group to teach, but ultimately rewarding. At best they are a loyal, fun-loving bunch; at worst, they come into the class with a sense of entitlement. One man, a police chief of a small town, told me that I was the first foreigner with whom he had ever spoken. Mixed among the men is an occasional woman. They stand out for their courage and years of experience dealing with an unfair deck.

Most of my students fall in the 30-49 range. There are more men in the group, but a healthy number of women. Many are somewhat unfashionable, with very little color in their clothing. They are earnest, sometimes too much so. The antiquated “Ladies Lounges” that one finds in our building must be for this set.

I’ll be teaching this group in our next program, the Advanced Integration Program, for Korean officials going overseas to study or work for the next two years on a government fellowship. This group is a joy to teach: in the classroom they have the right amount of healthy fear about going overseas, mixed with anticipation for their adventure. Ironically, they think of studying at graduate schools in the U.K. or the U.S. as a kind of vacation from the pressurized environment of their government duties. Good luck on the thesis at the end of that “vacation.”

From this group of students, I have received a lot of help from a personal standpoint. I had a bad tax bill that was in error. A few of my students happened to be with the National Tax Service. They gave a lot of their time to help clean up the complicated problem. Well done, lads. I’m anticipating a need for assistance with the Immigration office. A couple of students gave their business cards and encouraged me to contact them if I need any assistance. Another student worked at the airport and told me, “Here is my card. If you ever get into any problem at all at the airport, give me a call.” Another student, a policeman, did the same thing.

We see the new era of Korea when we get to the students in their twenties. Each year I teach some of the 300 or so new managers. Their average age is 28. About half are women. They have passed the civil service exam and are starting off their government careers with an eight-month training program at our institute. They are well traveled, excitable, and outgoing. The most attractive quality about them is their mix of Korean politeness with a truly global mindset. Many, particularly those who have studied abroad or attended foreign language high schools, are less self-conscious with foreigners than the average Korean.

They are a well-dressed group, as well. It might have something to do with our institute being a fertile breeding ground for “campus couples.”

The role models for these students are people like the Korean IOC bid committee members. It was such a refreshing change, at that event, to see English used as a tool to communicate, on equal terms, with people from other countries, as opposed to the way English is often used in Korea: as the subject of a test, as a joke on the quiz shows, as a language that highlights class differences, and as fodder for bad advertising.

Not all my time is spent in the classroom. In fact, a good deal of the time I’m in my office with about ten colleagues, all Korean. What do I like about working in a Korean office?

Naps. A nap at one’s desk is okay. That may seem trivial, but I don’t think so. Not a siesta length nap, but a catnap. It’s refreshing to know that once in a while, when I really need it, I can doze off on a quiet afternoon and not have it count against me.

The cafeteria. The food is really good. Our institute’s cafeteria has a good reputation. The staff is kind and solicitous. One colleague joked to me, “I like eating with you because you get a lot of service (i.e. ‘treats’) from the staff.”

Snacks. Koreans do snacks well. It’s always a group snack. It comes at about 4:00p.m. Sometimes it pizza, sometimes dduk (sticky rice cake).

THE BAD

There are about 250 employees at our institute. I am the only foreigner on staff. What I eat, my health, my age, my marital status – it’s like I have a hundred mothers. “Isn’t it too spicy for you?” “Isn’t it too cold for you to walk?” “Isn’t it too far to the subway station?” The tone of these questions is a little too presumptuous; it’s as if the interrogator is saying: “I’m sure it’s too spicy for you. You need only confirm it. Another answer won’t fool me.”

Another foreigner called Korea “The Country of Perpetual Crisis.” That about sums up the office atmosphere sometimes. There is excited chatter, even some running. The office is noisy, perhaps three times noisier than any other office I’ve worked in. There is shouting on the phone, although the speaker is not angry.

To those used to a Western management style, there is little sharing of information in Korea.

A simple visit to another office to, say, ask for informal help or assistance is frowned on. There is an overriding emphasis on rank and seniority. I confess to not caring about the senior/junior relationship.

There can be endless proofreading of buzzword-laden, awkward, stilted English. It’s writing that is intended to impress rather than communicate original ideas. Also, I am intimately familiar with cheesy and self-aggrandizing slogans.

What to make of Korean “star teachers”? I don’t like to hear buzzwords used by teachers, I don’t like a big fuss, and I’m suspicious of grand schemes promoted by guru-like teachers; I like to see simple, practical use of the language by both teachers and students.

So it was with some interest that I attended a lecture by a famous Korean star teacher one afternoon at our institute. He was 20 minutes late and it took some time for he and his staff to set up his multi-media presentation. Two strikes already. He started his lecture by saying that he was “basically all over the media” and proceeded to list the numerous radio and TV shows on which he had appeared. Strike three. He started his lecture in English, and quickly switched to Korean. I had seen enough, and left the lecture room with gritted teeth.

I would love to see the language market opened up here, pronto, to put bozos like this out of business. I suppose, however, that there will always be a market for hype.

Anyway, back at the office, I’m not asked for much input. A foreigner acquaintance has a theory that Koreans don’t want the active participation of foreigners. They like foreigners as figureheads, but not as active contributors. That has been my experience, with some exceptions, as well.

There are often schedule changes, sometimes hourly. Once I agreed to teach a special morning class (I’m usually here only in the afternoons) here at the institute. The special class necessitated my changing the time of a morning class at a ministry. I didn’t mind being accommodating. The special class time was changed, meaning that I again had to reschedule the morning class. Again, happy to help out, Mr. Kim. And then the special class time was changed once more. Six times in total. I vowed never again to accept an offer to teach a class outside of my regular work hours.

There is less pre-planning than one is used to back home. I’ll leave it at that. No, I won’t. I’ll add that my father, an old Navy man, is a stickler for pre-planning, punctuality, keeping one’s word, taking responsibility, and following the law. How do you think he’d like Korea?

The coup de grace in this category is the time that I was walking home after work late one afternoon and got a phone call, out of the blue, asking to me to stop and wait on the sidewalk for my contract for the following year to be delivered to me so that I could sign it there, on the street, before going home. Apparently there was a salary freeze going into effect and it was important for me to sign my contract on this day – but that was not clearly explained to me until later.

Needless to say, I refused. I explained that I needed to have some time to sit down with the contract, go over the numbers, and check it carefully before I signed.

I got a call back a few minutes later. Could I come in early tomorrow to sign the contract? What time could I be there? When I said “no,” I was asked, “Do you have something else to do?” I replied that this was unpleasant, that I was being pressured into doing something I did not want to do. That was met with an exasperated sigh – presumably because I was not being a team player – and a quick goodbye.

THE FUNNY

They once bowed to a pig’s head at our office.

One day there was a little get-together at our institute. The cyber team was celebrating the installation of a new server. We went down to the bottom floor, and about 25 of us stood around in front of tables covered with finger food and snacks, and waited for the president to arrive. The woman next to me remarked that "they" (I wasn't sure to whom she was referring) were probably bowing to the pig's head. Not knowing what half the stuff I hear around here means, I just let that go and didn't ask questions.

The president came in from the server room with his retinue, he gave a little speech, and we ate and drank. Makgeoli (막걸리), a Korean alcohol, was being served. This was at 4:00 in the afternoon. I opted for the aloe juice.

The director of the cyber team asked me, "Did you have seen our server?" No, I replied, I didn't have seen it. He invited me into the adjacent room to have a look.

Not being too computer savvy, one server looks like another to me. But a pig's head does attract my attention. There it was on a table in front of the server. There was a mat on the floor. Just as I was figuring out what was going on, a woman got down on the mat and bowed to the pig head. Then the director took off his shoes and did the same.

Gift money had been put into the pig's mouth in the form of bills and envelopes filled with bills.

I got out of the room and told my friend, the lady who manages the cafeteria, "돼지 머리가 있어요. 좀 이상해요." ("There is a pig's head. That's a bit strange.") She chuckled knowingly.

I left work at 5:00 and, once out in the parking lot, spontaneously burst out laughing. I guess I had been keeping my reaction inside, behind my work face.

I asked a student about it that night. She said that a pig's head is often involved when a new car is bought or a new business is opened.

There is another thing that made me laugh. One foreigner instructor who was a guest teacher at a program at our institute earned my affection when he came up with the term “Lunch Nazis” to describe Korean officials who, with their unending analysis of the food on the foreigner’s plate, make a noon meal a tiresome chore and an interrogation about food preferences rather than a relaxing respite.

THE UGLY

It is annoying when one’s proofreading corrections are ignored. I did the proofreading for a Liberation Day event this year. American military personnel were going to be there. I wanted the program to be professional and well done. About half of my corrections were overridden by someone who does not speak English as a native language, and the program suffered for it. Would I presume to override a native Korean speaker’s corrections to my Korean?

The day of the Japanese earthquake, a junior official approached a senior official to tell him of a schedule change due to what was happening in Japan. The senior official was unaware of the earthquake.

Senior official: What’s going on in Japan?

Junior official: There’s been an earthquake and tidal waves.

Senior official: [Snide, sarcastic comment.]

Junior official: [Awkward courtesy laugh.]

As I mentioned at the start of this piece, I was fortunate to fall into this job. How did I get it? I wondered the same thing. It turns out that the guy before me – a young, handsome, well-liked American – had two wives! Almost immediately after his wife in America called our boss to tell him about herself, my predecessor was fired. I didn’t know about this until I had worked here about five years. I learned that I was hired as the polygamist’s replacement because I was available, I had received good evaluations from the students in my short time guest-teaching here, and I was single.

Lastly, our institute is scheduled to move – along with many other government ministries – to the new administrative city of Sejong, far away from Seoul, in the future. Why? Because the former president wanted votes from that region. What a boondoggle. It remains to be seen whether my career as a government official will continue if I have to move away from Seoul, but I’ve enjoyed it so far.

Incheon Airport's Slogan

2011-10-25T22:43:00.002+09:00

The slogan "A World's Best Airport" is not correct in English. That slogan could be fixed in one of three ways:

1. "The World's Best Airport" is grammatically correct as a superlative, but too boastful and not backed by enough evidence.

2. "One of the World's Best Airports" is technically correct, but unwieldy as a slogan.

3. "Voted the World's Best Airport (2006-08)" is true, but reads as a fact rather than a slogan.

I like Incheon, but there is room for improvement. The illegal taxi drivers - who pretend to be a needy traveler's friend, only to rip them off later - have got to go. It's a sign of corruption that they are still there.

The airport has too many duty-free shops. An airport is for airplanes, not shopping. (The airport in Bangkok is the worst in this regard.)

The availability of English-language reading material is limited - not up to par for a world-class airport.

The Korean Boy on the Subway Story

2010-05-30T15:12:00.002+09:00

A funny thing happened to me on the subway.

I was sitting next to a Korean boy. He was maybe six years old. His mom was standing above us, because it was crowded and there were no seats. (Before you think “Why didn’t you offer your seat to her; you look like a gentleman, act like one,” let me tell you that I had an injured foot at that time, and was using a cane. Standing in a swaying subway car and trying to balance was sometimes painful.) It was a hot day.

The boy was looking me up and down, in a way that I can only describe as clinical. Now usually that’s rude, right? But this budding scientist was sincerely interested in me as a different specimen, something he hadn’t seen before – so I didn’t mind.

After a minute, he said something about me to his mom – in Korean, of course. I thought, “I hope I can understand what he’s saying. I think this is going to be interesting.” It was. He said, matter-of-factly, “Hey mom, this man has a lot of hair on his arm.”

I started laughing and said to the boy, “That’s right, I do.” Then I looked up at his mom. She was embarrassed. She said to the boy, “Don’t say that.” I said, “It’s alright, it’s true.”

I wanted to talk to the kid in Korean. He had a church flyer, so I asked him about that. Then I changed the topic to soccer, guessing correctly that he, like most Korean boys, liked it. After about 10 minutes we finished our conversation because the train had come to their stop. I looked at the mom to say “thanks” and “goodbye”; she was still embarrassed. Lighten up, mom.

Anyway, the moral of the story is that some women like men with hair on their arms and chest, and some don’t – and who cares about the ones who don’t.

Marmot's Hole closes comments

2009-12-18T21:08:00.003+09:00

Korea's premier blog for foreigners, the Marmot's Hole, has closed the comments section.

www.rjkoehler.com

That's a shame. There are some good writers on there. Too much mud-slinging though, and too much trashy, unpunctuated writing.

I have a suggestion:

1. Open the comments again, but make it a policy that commenters get one comment per post. You say your piece and that's it.

2. No personal attacks on other commentors.

3. Standard punctuation rules are too be followed. Capital letters at the beginning of sentences. This is done on other blogs with no problem.

If a comment breaks any of the three rules above, it's deleted. Simply, quickly, and easily. No explanation necessary.

It often amuses me how board moderators twist themselves into knots trying to be politically correct (and I'm not saying the Marmot does this) and please everyone by making a comments section rulebook that could fill a binder. I don't want a democracy in a comments section; a dictatorship is fine.

Commenters will fall into line quickly if these rules are enforced at the Hole. The blog would be better for it.

I've enjoyed the Marmot for a few years now. I check it every day. IHeartBlueBalls and Brendon Carr, especially, are great writers. Sprewer also has interesting things to add. Lankov, Ben Wagner, and BR Myers also come to mind. There are some good new commenters on there, too.

I hope the comments come back. With rules. And enforcement.

"Ajeossi Blues" CD single

2009-07-05T16:57:00.004+09:00

아저씨 블루스 씨디

I recorded a CD single. It can be heard over at MySpace:

www.myspace.com/douglasbinns

For those who don't know, an "ajeossi" is a middle-aged Korean man who works too hard and drinks too much.

Enjoy it!

Strange behavior by co-workers

2009-04-10T15:03:00.003+09:00

I work as the only foreigner in a Korean government office.

My co-workers are nice and kind. They act fairly normally around me. However, I'm not encouraged to be actively involved in decision making, and am often left out of the loop. Everyday I'm asked about my lunch, and my eating habits are regulary analyzed. My limited Korean is praised too highly. One guy always acts overly delighted to see me, like it's a surprise that I came into the office again today after being here for five years. You get the idea. Some of them struggle to act naturally around me, others are great.

The one time I notice some of them trying way too hard is when another foreigner visits the office. After a too-formal introduction from the Korean co-worker, the foreigner and I will start making small talk and getting to know each other. The Korean stands by, overreacting and misreacting to almost everything. A simple question from me to the foreigner is met with, say, laughter. A simple comment about the weather is met with, say, a worried expression.

At its worst, it makes me think that some co-workers have their "foreigner face" on and know how to deal with one foreigner in a controlled situation, but an improvised, informal scenario blows their circuits and they struggle to adopt the appropriate emotions.

A Beef Cattle Rancher from Ohio Writes...

2009-02-23T23:36:00.002+09:00

There was a good letter to the JoongAng Daily editor from a 4th-generation cattleman today. He wrote on the beef issue.

The letter is full common sense, is well written, and the writer oozes integrity. In other words, it's unlike anything from last summer's anti-U.S. beef protests.

[Letters] Reassuring Koreans on U.S. beef

February 23, 2009

I should like to respectfully respond to Mr. Sun Yang’s letter (“The case against cheap U.S. beef,” Feb. 20). I do not pretend to understand all of the issues behind the Korean people’s concerns about this issue but I do feel that it is important that you know the truth and judge me, my family, my business and my product with facts as opposed to vicious politically motivated propaganda, lies and misinformation.

My family and I are beef cattle ranchers in the United States. We are a fourth-generation family-owned and operated beef and beef genetics producer dedicated to breeding and producing the highest quality, most efficient, and yes, profitable, beef cattle for our fellow U.S. and international cattle breeder customers and beef consumers worldwide. Our family has supplied beef genetics to Australia, New Zealand, Brazil, Argentina, Colombia, Britain, Germany, Poland, Russia, Mexico, Canada, South Africa and most U.S. states. It is highly possible that anywhere in the world a person eats beef, our family may have had some small part in producing that beef.

This is a responsibility that we take very seriously and personally. Your readers should take reassurance that I and my family buy and consume U.S. produced beef without any qualms or concerns as to its safety, wholesomeness and healthiness and this comfort comes with a lifetime of knowledge and experience of the entire U.S. beef production industry.

Why and how exactly is U.S. beef cheaper than Korean beef? The price of any beef is determined by the universal laws of supply and demand. Cost of production, however, is a different issue.

I suspect that the U.S., Canada, Australia, New Zealand and South America all have many production cost advantages over Korea. In the U.S. we have vast open expanses of grass and pasture with very low population density. This allows us huge relative economies of scale with very efficient labor and land costs per head of cattle raised.

We also have very efficient grain and feed production. These advantages are the results of geography, climate, population density, soil fertility, and the judicious use of production technologies, research development and education - not some sinister international conspiracy.

U.S. beef cattle are not fed meat from “diseased” animals; feeding any beef products back to beef cattle is illegal and highly regulated in the first place. Why would I, or anyone, feed dangerous products to our cattle which we would in turn eat? We do not feed our cattle unhealthy amounts of “cheap overabundant” grain. Corn and soybeans are neither cheap nor abundant; why would we spend more than necessary for feed grain only to waste it?

Antibiotics are also very expensive and very highly regulated. Do Korean producers let their cattle get sick and die? What do they do with the ones that are just sick? Do they get sold for consumption? I should hope and expect not.

The grain fed to cattle has the same amount of pesticides (if any) that chickens, pigs and people consume. Pesticides are expensive, very highly regulated and used to a minimum. Another falsehood is the claim that beef consumption is the cause of obesity. Statically the occurrence of obesity is increasing while per capita consumption of beef is decreasing.

It was with great concern that I and my fellow beef producers in the United States watched the great civil unrest in Korea allegedly caused by our product. We were dismayed that what we produce with such great care and pride was so viciously maligned by falsehoods, lies and propaganda for reasons that we still do not understand. Our governments failed us both.

As a farmer rancher I also feel a great kinship with all beef producers, and harbor no ill will towards Korean beef producers and wish them all success. But please understand that the product that we produce and hope to make available to you is the same that I feed my own family with pride, honor, integrity and great confidence.

Sam Johnson, Summitcrest Farms, Summitville, Ohio, USA

www.summitcrest.com

---

I already wrote and told him how much I appreciated his letter.

The original can be found here:

http://joongangdaily.joins.com/article/view.asp?aid=2901340

Good Painter

2009-02-05T00:52:00.005+09:00

Good painter. He's a North Korean defector. He went to Hongdae (famous art college) and does parodies of North Korean propaganda. Smart, funny, interesting.

Read about him here and see samples of his work:
http://www.iht.com/articles/2009/02/04/asia/painter.1-410764.php

Modern Office Worker Nonathlon

2008-11-28T21:41:00.000+09:00

Next week I have a physical fitness test. Apparently it’s required of government employees (technically, I am one). I’ll be tested on 9 tasks: stationary bike, sit-ups, grip strength, sidestep, standing on one foot, etc. Call it the Modern Office Worker Nonathlon. (I had to look that up; it’s one short of a decathlon.) There is a funny thing: Employees are ranked after the test (Koreans love rankings) and given a score. One woman down the hall has already taken the test. She is proud of her score, a “minus 2”, which means that her health is like that of a woman two years younger than she is. Those with minus scores have something to brag about; those with plus scores will probably want to keep them quiet.

I’ll let you know my score. I would hope that I can best the average 48-year-old Korean male office worker – considering that so many smoke and that drinking plays a big part in their “work.”

Quote of the week

2008-11-23T01:30:00.004+09:00

From an article in Thursday's JoongAng Daily about conservative civic groups sending propaganda leaflets toward North Korea, titled "'Few ways' to stop anti-North flyers":

"...the government also faces fierce criticism from conservative legislators, who denounced it for being too soft when it receives demands from the North. Lee Hoi-chang, the conservative Liberty Forward Party chairman, expressed discomfort with the government's moves to meet Pyongyang's demand with little rebuttal. "I'm afraid the Unification Ministry may be called the Seoul office of the North Korean government," he said yesterday.

What a stud.

The Unification Ministry's naively idealistic dream of unification is misguided and deliberately blind to the reality of life in the North. It's nice to see that pointed out.

A Survey Question re: Taxi Drivers

2008-09-04T15:12:00.003+09:00

I'd like to ask readers a question about taxi service in Korea. I take regular taxis, not the expensive black ones, and I'd say somewhere between 10-15% of the times I take a taxi, the driver does not say anything: not a single word -- no greeting, no repeating of my destination, no fare total at the end of the ride, no "thank you" -- no nothing!

It's something that would be considered rude in America, of course, and I wonder if it's considered rude here. In other words, is the driver intentionally being disrespectful? Or am I not aware of a cultural difference, and is this kind of behaviour not uncommon here?

For the record, I'm a middle-aged white American male who speaks Korean well enough to describe my destination, and to give directions along the way if necessary.

I'm wondering how often this happens to you, readers.

I thought of emailing a Korean female friend with this question, but I'm sure the situation is different for Korean female passengers.

If I ask my Korean male co-workers a question like this, I can't really get a straight answer. They answer as "Korean representatives" and say things like, "Maybe the taxi driver has had a difficult life."

KBS, MBC, and SBS

2008-08-23T20:07:00.002+09:00

I’ve been watching a little Korean TV recently. I see where the big Korean TV networks have organized some kind of sporting event over in Beijing in which Korean athletes and teams compete against various international opponents. Cool.

When do the Olympics start? I’m looking forward to seeing some international stars. Can’t wait to see the athletics events and the men's basketball team, the Redeem Team, over there!

In all seriousness, I wonder if something like this would be possible:

The Korean networks split the exclusive rights for the Games. One network gets to cover, say, soccer and archery, another takes swimming and baseball, and the third gets handball, badminton, taekwondo, judo, and weightlifting (minor indoor sports is the theme there). Somehow events with international — rather than provincial — appeal, such as men’s basketball, the athletics events, and the marathons, are televised on the other networks.

Could network leaders, the government — somebody — sit down in a room and make this happen, without bribes, controversy, and what not? That’s my serious (not sarcastic) question.

Or is there no demand here for international events at all? I think the Koreans I know would be at least somewhat interested in other events.

I like Korean Olympic coverage when the announcers are sober. For example, I watched the women’s 100 meters and the announcers were great — going over each entrant, explaining who each important runner was, etc. Conversely, the coverage of the 박태환 races was embarrassing, what with both announcers screaming simultaneously.

To conclude, I’ll make a deal with the devil: I promise to root for Korea in tonight’s baseball game against Cuba if one of the Korean networks will please, please show the men’s marathon tomorrow morning.

I Teach a Class of National Assembymen (Assemblypersons?)

2008-08-18T14:20:00.002+09:00

I just started teaching a class of students who are National Assembly members. There were eight of them this morning in the first class.

I didn’t know what to expect. Each student’s political party affiliation was listed next to the name and photo. I tried not to hold membership in the bad party that supports unchecked engagement with North Korea against the one man who seemed to be both a nice guy and a good student.

Actually, I was impressed with all of them: well-spoken, polite, professional, and friendly. There were four women. Three of them are proportional representatives (chosen by their party, not elected), like the one assemblyperson who has been in the news lately for allegedly trying to buy a National Assembly seat with a bribe.

There was a survey recently, the results of which were in the paper this morning, in which the National Assembly was rated the institution least trusted by Korean citizens. I'd put the media in that position, myself. Or the Ministry of Unification, which was not on the list.

Word Lists

2008-07-31T15:21:00.002+09:00

At the back of my day planner ("diary" to Koreans), I keep a running list of common English words, phrases, and expressions that, in my experience, many Koreans don't use. I use this list in lessons with intermediate and advanced students and encourage them to incorporate the words into their vocabulary:

sore (adj.) I went skiing last weekend and my legs are really sore.
hurt (v.) I hurt my foot playing soccer.
rewarding (adj.) My job is rewarding.
can tell (v.) I can tell you are drunk because your face is red.
[Students tell me this is "알 수 있다," lit. "can know."]
jet lag (n.)
play it by ear
a rule of thumb
run into (sb)
(be) looking forward to (sthg)
sleazy (adj.)
cardboard (n.)
hang out (v.)
keep track of (sthg)
have a baby
hours (n.) My hours are 9:00 to 5:00.
(be) in good shape
work out (v.)

LESSON IDEA: Make a list of these words with example sentences, give the list to your students, have them work in pairs to try to figure out the meanings, teach them "What does ____ mean?", go over the answers together, have them give examples of their own, have them make questions to ask the teacher for conversation -- voila, instant lesson.

--

I'm thinking of starting a new list, this one of words most often mispronounced by Koreans:
method
effort
Richard (could be substituted with Nancy, Faith, or Seth)
photographer (don't know if I've ever heard a Korean pronounce this one correctly)
anything ending in "-ate" ("8" for verbs; otherwise "ut")
Asia
zoo

Feel free to add your own in the comments section.

Tomorrow's Demonstration

2008-07-05T00:43:00.002+09:00

Getting my signs ready for tomorrow's big demo.

Weapon of Mass Destruction

2008-06-20T11:25:00.000+09:00

My Student Will Fake Being Drunk

2008-05-26T19:00:00.006+09:00

My student is a 20-something Korean woman. She has a job that doesn't pay quite as much as she'd like, so when a friend suggested her for a position at a leading Korean company, she decided to apply.

The company surprised my student by calling her in for an interview quickly: tomorrow morning. She can't get the day off work on such short notice. What to do?

She has come up with a plan. Tonight is a 회식, a more-or-less mandatory dinner and drinking party with the boss and her co-workers. She has decided to pretend to be drunk tonight, so that tomorrow morning she can use a hangover as an excuse for not going into the office.

"That's very Korean," I told her. She laughed.

Jonathan Borofsky sculpture

2008-04-18T01:39:00.002+09:00

from the sculpture garden

at the National Museum of Contemporary Art, Korea

in Gwacheon

국립 현대 미술관

Good Idea, Bad Execution

2008-02-20T23:47:00.004+09:00

The director in our office made a joke yesterday that was so tasteless that I have to pass it along.

A little background on him: He's not a bad guy. But he has his staff trembling in fear of him. He speaks English pretty well, and writes it even better than that.

He likes to try jokes out on foreigners. I think he got it into his head that he knows Western ways, and that his joke-telling is a good icebreaker -- that it shows that he has a sense of humor and can establish a friendly atmosphere with guests.

Yesterday the director and I were eating lunch with a visiting female professor, whom I know. It was fine. (If other Koreans are around, it's not fine, as they defer to him in everything and the event is filled with silences or awkward attempts at small talk.) The director mentioned that Korea was a homogeneous society, and then came out with this question, directed to our guest: "Do you know why we say it is 'homogeneous'? Because there are so many homos." He laughed at his own joke.

I knew that the guest and I would be able to laugh about this later, so I wasn't worried about her reaction. I said in mock-shock "What are you talking about?" and changed the subject.

Similarly, it's awkward when the director makes jokes while giving PowerPoint presentations to foreign visitors. He'll tell a stilted and scripted joke. He is the only one who laughs at the joke. Then he explains the joke. Meanwhile my insides twist and turn.

In his attempts to bridge cultural barriers, he reminds me of Tony, a Korean employee at the hagwon where I worked my first year here. Tony had it in his mind that since foreigners like to touch each other in a friendly way (hugs, handshakes, hand on shoulder, etc.), he should reach out and put his hand on your shoulder in a show of camaraderie or fellowship. Only he did it at inappropriate times -- like, say, during a payment negotiation -- and he did it so self-consciously and slowly that it made you cringe when you saw the arm extended and the hand moving toward your body. Good grief. Gives me the willies just recalling it.

Live blogging

2008-02-20T23:40:00.002+09:00

Live blogging
from in front of the TV

North Korea vs. South Korea soccer match
from foggy Bejing

Pre-game
Those white jerseys that the South are sporting look good.

That North star forward (#12) looks like a bad ass, a tough competitor.

Here are the starting lineups. I only recognize one South Korean: 박주영. I haven’t been following the team since last summer’s endless series of 0-0 matches.

Kickoff
I have always liked 박주영. He plays with a lot of poise. He has good balance. He doesn’t panic in front of the net. He’s a good passer.

2:00
The Schaudenfraudist™ in me has long hoped that a controversial result in a North-South soccer match will lead to bitter feelings on one or both sides. Consider the South’s outrage after the referee’s supposed error in the offside call two years ago in the World Cup match. If South Koreans could just take that passion and redirect it as outrage at the human rights abuses in the North, it would be a start.

Why is that faggy Korean comedian with the bleached blonde hair in the news? I can’t stand his phoney smile.

I saw a Harisu video on youporn.com the other night that is still haunting me – in a good way. Her tits are fantastic and the production values of the video are equally good.

How can youporn.com not possibly turn out to be a huge hit, I have to ask.

9:00
Oh, we hit the post. And yes, I am going to use “we” when referring to the South – at least in this match.

Oh, I know 김남일, too.

Please let a controversial call lead to a diplomatic demand for an apology or for redress, which leads to an end of the Sunshine policy and the 6-party talks.

12:00
The finger pointing among the players begins.

Is the North’s manager going to have one of those ubiquitous Kim Jong-il badges?

One N. Korean’s jersey says “A. Young Hak.” Now what the heck is his name? I suggest the following format for Korean names on jerseys: “C.S. Lee” for Lee Chun Soo, “J.Y. Park” for Park Joo Young, etc. C’mon, that’s not that complicated.

15:00
North man down. Is a card coming out? Oh, it’s the tough guy who went down. Walk it off.

A friend of mine once broke both wrists at a skate park. His friend told him to walk it off.

Yes, it was a yellow card for N.K.’s star forward.

16:00
I read where David Beckham is coming to Korea soon for an L.A. Galaxy friendly match. He declined a request to appear on a Korean entertainment show. Smart man. He would be fawned over, oohed and aahed over -- and then made to feel like a monkey.

19:00
Free kick for us. Not far out. #11 on our side looks like he belongs in a boy band.

South Korea 1, North Korea 0

Goal! Nice kick. Right through the gap in the wall that the star forward had been motioning for another N.K. player to move over and fill.

The goal scorer looks like one of the guys in DBSK [boy band].

23:00
Stepped away from the set to crack open a green Heineken can, grab the honey-roasted nuts, and turn on the floor heater. Life doesn’t get much better than this…

…Actually, it does. For other people. My friend is American. His wife is Korean. They live down in Busan. She bought him beer especially for the game. I envy him.

25:00
Let’s not allow a counter-attack goal, guys.

The South Korean jersey names are messed up, too. “Sangho” just threw the ball in. Now what name is that? His two given names combined into one name?

Nice move in front of the goal by our guy. He intentionally let a pass go by him, then spun around his marker and chased the ball down near the goal. We are looking a bit more inventive than usual.

29:00
North threatens attack on South Korea’s goal.

Some pushing and shoving and a yellow card.

The South’s skintight jerseys are a little much.

36:00
Man down. Nice gesture by the North guy to help him up. Oh, it’s boy-band man who went down. Nice haircut, dude.

…And equally good sportsmanship by the South on the throw-in, sending the ball back to the North Koreans.

I wish it were possible to study Korean, watch this game, watch the Harisu video, listen to Joni Mitchell, clean up around the apartment, and chat online with Korean girls all at the same time.

Nice move by our guy in front of the net, sending a sharp left-footed shot at the goalie. Another corner kick for us. We look the better side. (I like slipping into affected British English when watching a football match down the pub.)

Today was slightly warmer. I didn’t feel the need for gloves. The spring can’t come quickly enough. I’m tired of coat, gloves, and hat.

43:00
Thanks to the young Korean guy on the bus today who got my hat back to me. As I got off the bus, someone was loudly calling to someone. I did a quick inventory of what I was carrying and realized I had left my cap on the bus. It occurred to me that the “someone” was calling to me. I knocked on the front door of the bus, which hadn’t quite left the stop yet, and busted out a “모자 잊어버렸어요” before I could even think about it. The Korean guy had carried my cap up from the back of the bus and was there at the door to hand it to me. Nice kid.

End of the first half. Let’s take it to the locker room.

---

Halftime
Over to the Marmot’s Hole and Zenkimchi.com to check the news.

ROK Drop has news that the North requested the return of the 22 boat people. Couldn’t one S.K. soccer player wear an armband with the number 22 on it?

---

Second half
The referee is a good looking guy.

Yellow card for a N.K. player. His name is “Park Jol Chin,” listed on his jersey as “P. Jol Chin.” That makes no sense.

Another card for the North. And he’s pushing the ref. And that’s got to be a red – and it is. Good night. Get out. And start an international incident on your way to the tunnel. It’s the aforementioned P. Jol Chin.

4:00
A dangerous free kick into the box and just inches away from the North man’s reaching boot.

Rob Hughes, IHT soccer scribe, writes in such an affected way. He’d write a sentence like the one above.

You can see the N.K. press coverage of this match falling into place: Their troops were betrayed by a Japanese (or is he Chinese?) referee’s biased decision to send off one of the Motherland’s heroes with an unjust red card.

8:00
I can see us giving up a cheap goal here. But I like our spunk and hustle. Good passing, good ideas. Keep it up, boys.

Let’s bring in #13 for #15. His tight white jersey is unsullied.

9:00
#7 takes a hard fall. Our guys look really young. They’ve got boy band tryouts after the game.

We seem to be playing the ball into the box at will.

Now what? This referee likes the palms-down “calm down” gesture.

13:00
I like our new goalie so much better than Ajeossi Goalie, who is serving his one-year suspension for his shenanigans last summer. In his time off, maybe he can put on a little weight and look even more like an ajeossi.

We looked good there. Park Joo Young led a fast break, sent a nice pass out to the guy on the left, who cut back to lose his defender and then fired a good, hard shot. Didn’t get past the keeper, but nice effort.

Oh, now this is just the kind of thing we have to avoid. We send a substitute on late, lose our focus on the North’s free kick, and the dangerous shot goes just wide.

21:00
I saw a North Korean player smile. Poor people. One can only imagine the daily humiliation of their lives.

Our goalie got the worst of that exchange.

This game is getting sloppy. Not good for us.

22:00
We looked good there. Nice through pass, good cross, a sporting try at a header – but the ball got to the N.K. goalie first.

25:00
Some good passing by the North here. But they are not getting close to the goal.

26:00
We’ve walked it into the box again. Some dodgy defending by the men from hell.

27:00

South Korea 1, North Korea 1

Goal! #12 gets away on a breakaway. That’s exactly the kind of thing I feared. We’ve dominated the game and now it’s 1-1.

29:00
We threaten twice again. North Korea can’t keep South Korean men out of her box.

30:00
Oh, that was a bad call. We get an undeserved free kick just outside the area.

Boy-band man will take this one. It hits the wall. He makes a pained face like he just lost his girlfriend in a music video.

32:00
Sly header into the penalty area by our guy. It would be great if we could get one back here.

35:00
Boy-band man dribbles one just wide and then pats his hair back into place.

39:00
North goalie down hard. Referee is a stickler for keeping the game moving.

41:00
We are four minutes away from a disappointing draw.

42:00
A nasty spill in the area. Let’s hope everyone is all right.

What’s the opposite of “euphonious”? The North Koreans have three players with the rather uneuphonious family name of “리.”

Injury time
The North’s goal scorer goes out on a stretcher.

Oh! Almost got one. Good try. Nice header, and then a good cutback by the shooter, the ubiquitous boy-band man, who is the hub of the South’s attack. I’d download his cheesy ballads any day.

We’ve had regular success with a long kick up to the edge of the area, followed by a backwards header into the box, followed by a shot drilled at the North goalie, who goes down under the attack. But that doesn’t count for anything on the scoreboard.

Final
We had that one and let it go. Get ‘em next time. In Pyeongyang -- at the game where our anthem had better be played. And our flag allowed.

Ever Been Asked by Your Place of Employment to Renew Your Contract by Signing out on the Street?

2008-01-30T23:51:00.001+09:00

No? Me neither. Until today, that is.

I had left the office at 6:00 after putting in a good day of proofreading and of preparing for the year's first programs, which start after the 설날 holiday. I usually work from 1:00-5:00, but stayed an hour late today to get things done. I was feeling good about the progress I had made.

As I do each evening, I was walking down the quiet road to the subway station. I was talking to my friend on my hand phone, when a felt a bunch of buzzes on the phone -- a sign that other calls or messages were coming in.

After finishing up with my friend, I noted that Mr. Kim, an assistant director (= lackey) in our office had tried to reach me three times. "What could this be about?", I wondered. Immediately he called again:

Mr. Kim: [In a somewhat panicky voice] Where are you? Are you on the road? Are you going to the subway station?

Me: Yes.

Mr. Kim: Ah, I see. We have your contract for this year [starts Feb. 1st]. It's urgent. We need you to sign it today. Could you wait for me there? I can drive down and give it to you to sign.

Me: [Nonplussed. We had gone over the terms of the contract before Christmas and everything seemed set, so I wondered what the rush was.] Uh, no, I'm not going to do that. I need to have some time to sit down with the contract, go over the numbers, and check it carefully before I sign. I'm sure you understand.

Mr. Kim: Ah, I see. But it's urgent.

Me: If it's urgent, I wish you would have told me about it earlier today.

Mr. Kim: Okay. But could you wait for me there?

Me: I'm not going to do that.

Mr. Kim: [Disappointed, but understanding] Okay, well then see you tomorrow.

--- Not three minutes later, he calls me back.

Mr. Kim: Ah, yes. Due to the government restructuring [a specious excuse?], we need to get this done as soon as possible. Do you think you could come in early tomorrow? What time do you think you could come in?

Me: I'll be there at 1:00, as usual.

Mr. Kim: Do you think you could come at 11:00?

Me: No, I'm sorry, I can't.

Mr. Kim: 12:00?

Me: No.

Mr. Kim: Do you have something else to do?

Me: [Not raising my voice] Mr. Kim, this is unpleasant. You are trying to pressure me into doing something that I don't want to do. I'll see you at 1:00 tomorrow.

Mr. Kim: [Exasperated sigh, because I'm not being "a team player."] Okay, I see. I'll see you tomorrow then. (click)

---

My first reacton: Why are you trying to make me the bad guy, Mr. Kim?

I thought about it more and talked with both an American friend and a Korean friend about it.

The Korean friend's response: "That's Korean style" (sympathetic chuckle). I asked her, "What will he do tomorrow? Pretend like nothing bad happened?" "Yep," she answered. "But how will he feel inside? Still angry?" "Yep."

The American friend suspects they may be trying to pull a fast one on my contract.

From what I've learned here in Korea, I know that when I deal with this situation tomorrow, the only person -- if any -- whom I will get a straight answer from is the person in the highest position, the Director General. Also, I can pretty much say whatever I want as long as I don't raise my voice or lose my temper -- neither of those is acceptable.

So, if I choose to complain tomorrow (there may not be any point to it, other than to express my frustration), I can go so far as to say that what Mr. Kim did was unprofessional -- just as long as I am not unpleasant about it.

We'll see how it goes.

Howlers from Work

2008-01-30T23:34:00.000+09:00

I've been doing a lot of proofreading of articles written in English by Koreans at the office for an annual publication coming out soon. Amid the usual hub dreams and Miracle of the Han River self-promotion, there have been a couple of howlers:

1. Korea, Japan, and China have benefited from geographical proximity, cultural affinity, and especially the willingness of their people to work together for the common good.

Really? Are you sure we are talking about the same Korea? That's not the Korea I've been living in.

2. Even the word 'Malaysia(n)' itself comes very close and familiar to me. It is also very true that when I happen to see Malaysian people or news about them on TV or on the road, I unintentionally used to see them once again. That would probably mean they are to me not foreigners any more but just one of Korean people as a human being.

In the second sentence, I'm not really sure what the writer is getting at. But I think I understand the third sentence: He's equating Malaysians with human beings.

3 Weeks Stateside

2008-01-11T14:55:00.000+09:00

I just got back from three weeks in Michigan, Ohio, and California to visit family and friends for the holidays.

It was nice. It seemed so quiet there compared to Seoul.

TSA employees in America continue to be an embarassment. The security staff at Narita Airport in Tokyo puts them to shame.

Starbucks was annoying in Los Angeles. Too loud. Too many posers. One barefoot customer. No music. So many laptops and ball caps -- on-strike writers en masse.

Another Starbucks note: I prefer the Seoul style of notifying the customer that his coffee is ready by calling out the coffee name, as opposed to the U.S. style of taking the customer's name.

I did enjoy talking with strangers on the street, in restaurants, or out shopping.

I also enjoyed the stress-free driving.

Missed the good customer service that we get here. Got tired of the lackadaisical attitude of store employees there.

Went to the doctor in L.A. for a bad cold. Had to wait over an hour at an Urgent Care clinic (as compared to the usual 5-10 minutes in Seoul). Got a nice, Middle-Eastern woman doctor. She prescribed some antibiotics and I got better. Wait time at the pharmacy: over one hour (compared to the usual 2 minutes in Seoul). Cost of medication: $92.00 (compared to the usual $3-5 in Seoul).

USA, get it together on medical insurance for everyone. The excuses for not having it are lame. I hope the next president gets that done.

Went out one night in L.A.'s Koreatown. Over $100 for a galbi dinner for four in Koreatown. Over $100 for a group of six at a norebang. At those prices, glad I live here.

Two Stories

2007-12-01T23:26:00.000+09:00

Heard a couple of stories from friends today:

1.

A student and I were talking. She works for a company that develops golf courses. The National Tax Service came up in the course of the conversation.

She said, “Actually, the National Tax Service … [searching for the right word] … attacked our office this week.”

I taught her “raided.” “Yeah, that’s it,” she said.

“So, did they get a lot of documents?” I asked.

“No. There was a newspaper article about our company a few weeks ago, so after that we shredded documents.”

“Oh, that’s good.”

“Yeah, except there were some contracts that we didn’t shred because they were too important. So when the tax officers came, someone in our office took those documents outside and just walked around for a few hours.”

2.

An American friend in Busan was out with his wife for dinner at VIPs, celebrating getting a job as a professor.

“You have to call me ‘교수님’ from now on,” he crowed. “I just had to call you because there is a young Korean couple next to us and the guy just did the stupidest thing. His girlfriend has been pouting all night. Korean girls are such experts at pouting. I think there is a TOEIC test for it or something. Anyway, the guy stirred the girl's 비빔밥 but she wouldn’t eat it. Finally he reached down under the table for a bag. The girl probably thought she was getting a gift. The guy reaches into the bag and pulls out an Afro wig, puts it on, and tries to make her laugh. He failed miserably.”

[Wish the Metro had seen that one. He could have gotten a 4,000-word post out of that.]

Van Gogh show

2007-11-27T23:01:00.000+09:00

There is a Vincent Van Gogh exhibition at the Seoul Museum of Art, which is downtown next to Deoksu Palace.

I recommend it. I went there tonight. Weeknights are a good time to go. They are open until 9:00p.m.

I've always liked this museum. The 분위기 (= mood, atmosphere) is really good. First you have the nice, quiet walk on the street outside the museum wall. Then, once inside, there's no kids. You can enjoy the show free of crowds. Just make sure you go on a weeknight.

A self-portrait is above.

This show didn't include a lot of blockbuster paintings, but quite a few good ones. The exhibit was organized by time period. Once Van Gogh got to Paris his paintings were full of light. The last part of the show, featuring the paintings done in the south of France when his health was starting to break down, was my favorite.

Website: http://www.vangoghseoul.com/

Results of the City Hall Lesson

2007-11-15T13:50:00.000+09:00

Last week I talked with my City Hall students about their jobs (see previous post).

Here is what I learned:

Most everyone disagreed with the statement "Six hours of sleep each night is enough sleep", which surprised me a bit. I have heard Koreans laugh when I told them that eight hours is considered standard in the U.S.

Surprisingly, over half the students said that their boss is afraid of his boss.

Half said that their boss is overly concerned with getting a promotion.

Most students agreed with this statement: "My boss cares about me as a person; he thinks of me as more than just an employee."

No one thought that he had a cushy job, and only one student said he gets busywork from his boss.

I asked them if this was a fair summary: The reason why most everyone works late could be that some bosses are afraid of their bosses, and some bosses are overly concerned about getting a promotion. They said "yes."

It was a fun lesson. I wish we could have spent more time on it.

"Is City Hall Dysfunctional?" Lesson

2007-11-08T15:50:00.000+09:00

Of the four Korean offices that I work at or teach in regularly, I'd say one has a healthy work environment. The second is very old-school, full of mid-manager, lifetime employee-types who bow their way through the day; the third is full of zombies working late every night; and the fourth has a few lackeys who run and bow, run and bow.

I'm getting kind of tired of it.

I talked with my students at City Hall about their work environment last night. It's like the night of the living dead in there at 9:00p.m. on weeknights, with employees trudging to the elevators or restrooms under dull flourescent light, or sitting in their offices staring vacantly at computer screens. A lot of people working; not much work being done, by the look of it. One student told me that she was there until 12:40 the other night, preparing for an audit. (She is the same employee who, by the way, is pregnant but is afraid to tell her boss for fear of his reaction; she's not expecting "Congratulations" from him.)

Employees don't go home until their boss does. I want to understand why they are working so late.

I told the students that we are going to have a frank discussion about their office environment during our next class. They liked the idea. I just prepared the lesson below for them. It includes twenty questions. If the results are interesting, I'll post about it next week.

---

Is City Hall Dysfunctional?

Vocabulary

Dysfunctional – not working in a satisfactory or successful way.
· children from dysfunctional families

Busywork – work that is given to somebody to keep them busy, without really being useful.

Morale – the amount of confidence and enthusiasm, etc. that a group has at a particular time.
· Morale amongst the players is very high at the moment.
· Staff are suffering from low morale.

Cushy (informal, often disapproving) – very easy and pleasant; needing little or no effort.
· a cushy job

For each of the following statements, indicate how strongly you agree or disagree. Then discuss with your partner(s) what your reasons are.

1 – strongly disagree
2 – disagree somewhat
3 – “yes and no”
4 – agree somewhat
5 – strongly agree

I have a cushy job.

The public thinks that City Hall employees have cushy jobs.

My boss gives my co-workers and me a lot of busywork.

Morale on our team (in our division / in our department) is high.

Some City Hall offices are not very well managed. The system here is dysfunctional.

Working at City Hall is similar to working at a 재벌 like Samsung or LG.

It is reasonable for managers to expect staff to work late into the night, even after midnight, during an audit.

My boss is a workaholic.

My boss goes home at a reasonable time each night.

My boss cares about me as a person; he thinks of me as more than just an employee.

My boss is overly concerned about getting a promotion.

My boss works our staff too hard.

My boss is afraid of his boss.

If my boss were a better manager, we wouldn’t have to work late so often.

City Hall employees look tired.

Six hours of sleep each night is enough sleep.

One of the best things about working for the Seoul City Government is the guarantee of lifetime employment.

I have enough free time for myself and my family.

We have too many dinner and drinking parties (= 회식) in my department.

My boss is a good time manager. He plans things in advance and doesn’t wait until the last minute to get things done.

Fall Foliage

2007-11-01T13:48:00.000+09:00

Here are some co-workers frolicking in the fall foliage.

They Bowed to a Pig's Head at Our Office Yesterday

2007-10-17T13:43:00.001+09:00

Yesterday there was a little get-together here at our institute. The cyber team was celebrating the installation of a new server.

We went down to the bottom floor, and about 25 of us stood around in front of tables covered with finger food and snacks, and waited for the president to arrive. The woman next to me remarked that "they" (I wasn't sure to whom she was referring) were probably bowing to the pig's head. Not knowing what half the stuff I hear around here means, I just let that go and didn't ask questions.

The president came in from the server room with his retinue, he gave a little speech, and we ate and drank. 막걸리, a Korean alcohol, was being served. This was at 4:00 in the afternoon. I opted for the aloe juice.

The director of the cyber team asked me, "Did you have seen our server?" No, I replied, I didn't have seen it. He invited me into the adjacent room to have a look.

Not being too computer savvy, one server looks like another to me. But a pig's head does attract my attention. There it was on a table in front of the server. There was a mat on the floor. Just as I was figuring out what was going on, a woman got down on the mat and bowed to the pig head. Then the director took off his shoes and did the same.

Gift money had been put into the pig's mouth in the form of bills and envelopes filled with bills.

I got out of the room and told my friend, the lady who manages the cafeteria, "돼지 머리가 있어요. 좀 이상해요." ("There is a pig's head. That's a bit strange.") She chuckled knowingly.

I left work at 5:00 and, once out in the parking lot, burst out laughing. I guess I had been keeping my reaction inside, behind my work face.

I asked a student about it last night. She said that a pig's head is often involved when a new car is bought or a new business is opened.

Another friend explained that it probably cost about W50,000 (about $50) -- more if the pig is smiling. When dressing the pig, wouldn't it be easy to form the mouth into a smile? That was the question that occured to me later.

2007-10-05T13:40:00.000+09:00

News Headlines

2007-10-01T21:49:00.000+09:00

Substance-Free Summit to Kick Off with Meaningless Gesture:

Roh to Walk across DMZ

Vows to Kowtow to KJI

***

Top DPRK Gang Leader Calls for Lap Dog

***

Shin Jung-Ah to Get 3-Day Media Respite

***

Noh Goes North to Benchmark Juche

-Importance of Ethnic Purity Emphasized-

***

Gullible Netizens

Cover Computer Keyboards

with Summit "Joy Juice"

***

Comment:

Noh Bases Admin. on Transparency,

Summit on Opacity

***

Talk of Permanent Peace on the Peninsula

Is Just That

"What's up with ...?"

2007-09-20T15:27:00.001+09:00

In a good class, one in which a group of students comes regularly, I'll sometimes teach colloquial expressions like "What the heck" or "Whatever." They can be fun if they catch on and the students use them regularly.

In my City Hall class a few weeks back, on a night during a week in which the weather had been terrible and unpredictable, I taught my students "What's up with ...?" as in "What's up with this weather?" I explained that the expression had to be said with some emotion in the voice, and that we use it when we are surprised by something and we don't like it.

Last night a group of about twelve of us from that class went out drinking together. One student, Jim, knocked his mug over and beer was dripping into his lap. As other students reached for napkins or tried to help him clean up the table, Jim said under his breath, "What's up with beer?"

I don't think anyone else heard him. It was funny because he did use the expression in a situation in which he was surprised and annoyed, as I had taught him, and yet it didn't sound natural. I chuckled to myself for awhile.

I Go to Sokcho

2007-09-18T13:28:00.000+09:00

Last winter I was waiting on a cold, almost-deserted subway platform and got to talking (in Korean) with two young girls standing there with their mom. We talked for awhile and got on the train together. Before I got off, I gave each of the girls my business card and we promised to keep in touch.

We've been sending emails to each other from time to time.

They live in Sokcho. Recently they invited me to come visit, so I took the bus out there last weekend. It was my first time to Gangwon-do province. Nice area. It took about 3-1/2 hours to get there: first through Gyonggi-do, then into Gangwon-do and the mountains, then up the east coast for the last part. Many students have told me that they think Gangwon-do is the most scenic province in Korea, and from what I've seen in my time here, I agree.

Along the coast, I was struck by the barbed wire fences along the shore that are there for security purposes.

The family (dad, mom, and two girls -- 13 and 9) treated me so kindly. They wouldn't let me pay for anything. They took me out to dinner on Saturday night, then put me in a seaside motel. It was very quiet and peaceful. There was no one on the broad beach all night. I had the window open and the sounds of the surf came in.

[That night I read about half of Cormac McCarthy's The Road. I liked it. However, I had just read B.R. Myers's "A Reader's Manifesto," so was perceptive to McCarthy's somewhat-stilted use of archaic or antiquated language, which made me chuckle.]

Next morning I got up and watched a group of 6-8 friendly-looking ajussis (!) practicing ssireum (Korean wrestling) on the sand. Then the dad picked me up at the motel and took me to their home for bulgogi for breakfast. There was fish, too. It would have made a good lunch.

They showed me pictures of their trip to China. I hadn't brought any pictures of my own -- I wish I had, then I wouldn't have been Mr. Nobody from Nowhere. It would have been nice to have photos of my niece and nephews, for example.

We drove up the coast to Kim Il Sung's byul jang, or beach house. (Koreans have translated "byul jang" for me as "resort," but that doesn't seem right in English. More like a private getaway.) I learned that this part of South Korea was part of North Korea before the war. The house was a small stone one, up on a hill in a picturesque location among pine trees, just above the sea. Nice place. The area reminded me of Carmel and Monterey a little bit, must have been the trees.

We also went to Rhee Syngman's byul jang, just down the hill. He was Korea's first president.

Then we went to Seorak-san. Believe the hype. I liked it. We went up a cable car and walked around the top for a good 45 minutes.

Driving around in the car, the 9-year-old in the back occasionally broke into song, comically copying the voice, vibrato, and intonation of a trot singer while singing a song that I've heard but of which I don't know the title. It was hilarious in a sweet way.

Then we went to the set of a cheesy ajussi drama called "Daejoyeong." Our umbrellas were dripping as we went to the archery stand (?) and watched the 9-year-old reduced to tears by her inability to get off a good shot.

Nice family. Good parents. Sweet kids. They liked the cookies that I brought for them from a bakery in Seoul. "Are these Western style?" they asked me. The little girl was interested in my electronic dictionary: "Wow!" she exclaimed, on opening it for the first time.

I had to speak Korean all weekend. It wasn't easy, but I got by. It can be tiring. On the plus side, I can see how someone living in a homestay would improve their language ability quickly.

The family gave me a cake from the mom's sister's bakery, and I was on the bus and on my way back to crowded Seoul.

I Meet a North Korean

2007-09-18T13:16:00.000+09:00

Last week I had dinner with a South Korean female friend who manages a shirt shop. She asked if she could bring along a friend who is North Korean. I said sure.

It turns out that the friend is the foxy co-worker with a sweet smile whom I had seen in the shirt shop. She countered my expectations of what a North Korean would be like. Without being shallow, she dressed like a Naver girl, talked about "Global Talk Show" (can't get the Korean font to work on this computer, but you know the show I mean), and bought some nice shoes. She spoke a little English, which she learned in North Korea, and her pronunciation was better than my friend's, the South Korean.

I couldn't hear a difference between her accent and a South Korean's, but she gave me an example of what the difference sounds like.

She has only been here a year. She has a North Korean boyfriend, and said she likes North Korean guys better than South Korean guys because they are more honest.

I refrained from asking her too many questions about her past, but it came out in the course of the conversation that she came here with her brother, and that they encounted some danger in China but were able to make it out to the Philippines and then to Korea. Good for them.

A Visit from the American Ambassador

2007-09-11T13:32:00.001+09:00

The American ambassador to Korea, Alexander Vershbow, came to the government institute where I work to give a lecture to Korean government officials this morning.

The president of our institute invited me to join the lunch after the lecture. There were about 15 of us, all Koreans except for the ambassador, the woman from the embassy who organizes outside events, and me.

I was impressed by the ambassador. He is well-spoken, and handled tricky topics with tact. He was asked about everything from the summit, the free trade agreement, and unification to Chan Ho Park and the Red Sox (the ambassador is from Boston).

Rave Sweets Review

2007-09-06T15:17:00.000+09:00

A student handed me a wrapped snack treat after class and said that it was a Chuseok (= Korean Thanksgiving) present. I carried it with me back to the office. I was busy doing other things and said to myself, "I'll just eat this thing to get it off my desk," with no hint of the delights to come.

Hmm, what's this? Work came to a halt as I savored the flavor. Delightful, an almond roca-like taste in a wafer. I'm sold. What's the name? "Odette." (A nod to Proust?) 오데뜨 in Korean.

I'll be buying it for myself.

I Host a "Meeting"

2007-09-04T16:51:00.000+09:00

Last Saturday night I hosted an event that Koreans call a "meeting." It's a group blind date, basically. It's a common way for Koreans to meet partners.

Let me explain. A couple of months ago I was telling one of my private students, a female, about my work here at a Korean government office. I told her that I teach the new group of young government officials who passed last year's civil service exam. My students said that she and her friend wanted to meet guys like that. I said maybe I could help her out -- but I didn't really think seriously about what I could do to introduce her to someone.

About a week later I asked my student, Arumi, a really pretty young women who used to be my Korean teacher at a hagwon, what she was doing on that Saturday night. She said she was just going to go home. I told her that it was a shame, and that she should be out on a date. She asked if I could introduce her to someone.

A couple weeks later my nurse friend Eunice said that her co-workers wanted to meet some guys. Well, by then I was determined to make it happen, so I set a plan in motion.

I approached one of my favorite students here, a nice guy by the name of Phoenix, and told him, "I have a problem. I know a lot of attractive young women who want to meet guys. Do you think you and the guys in your group here could help me?" He said that he didn't see why not.

At this point there were 8 women who had expressed an interest. That's a bit more than is usual for a meeting. Then Arumi dropped out, saying that she would be too nervous for a group date and just wanted a 1-to-1.

I went to Korean friends to get advice on how to host a "meeting." I learned that meetings are common among university students, and that drinking games are often involved. Sometimes there is drinking to excess. No surprise with Koreans. There are other things that happen at traditional meetings: Sometimes the guys and girls are asked to put personal belongings on the table. These belongings are then collected by the leader, who puts them in a hat or bag, from which they are drawn at random. Couples are formed based on who drew what from the bag. Another thing to do is that the leader counts to 3, and then each person has to point at who they like. Or the leader can distribute paper and pencils, and people can write down who they like.

Well, I wasn't too excited about these games but was glad that I knew about them in advance.

Due to a change in the nurses' schedule, we had to change the day the week of the event, and the numbers were knocked down from 7 guys and 7 girls to 4 + 4.

The venue chosen was Wa! Bar in Sadang, an old favorite with my two American friends and I during my first year in Korea. It has a relaxed, Western-style atmosphere.

The big night came and it was time to see the mating rituals of young Koreans in action. The age range was from 25 to 31.

All arrived fashionably late. We eschewed the traditional seating arrangement of guys on one side of the table and girls on the other, and sat mixed together.

I was impressed with everyone. Eunice's friend had great legs and a fake but sexy suntan. My student Claire, who I had guessed might be shy, was one of the best talkers of the bunch. Claire's friend Hyun Ah, who has a boyfriend -- which she didn't tell the guys, of course -- came along to be there with Claire.

The guys were good, too.

We stayed for 2-3 hours and had drinks without going overboard. Most everybody said that they liked the relaxed atmosphere. Only Eunice's friend wanted to play the dumb games and the guys shot her down.

The next step is for me to follow up with each person who attended to see if they would like to meet up with any member of the opposite sex again.

It was a good night. I've been kind of down on Korea lately -- what with the government negotiating with the Taliban in Afghanistan, the upcoming meaningless summit with North Korea, and the numerous revelations of fake academic degrees that have been in the news. It was nice to have my faith restored, at least somewhat, by these nice, talented, sociable, outgoing, kind, and friendly young people.

Burger King in Itaewon Closes, Leading to Thoughts of Love

2007-07-26T16:41:00.000+09:00

Burger King in Itaewon is no more.

I haven't been in Itaewon much lately. Last night I was quite surprised when I looked across the street and saw a Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf occupying the two floors where Burger King used to be.

I think of that Burger King as a defining Itaewon landmark, in that when meeting someone it would usually be in front of Burger King, if not the Hamilton Hotel.

This change is a sign of the times. Coffee is taking over.

I will miss that Burger King for one reason: It's the place where I met my ex-girlfriend. Allow me:

It was a spring day 4 years ago. I was in Itaewon for the first time. It was a quiet morning. I was enjoying walking around, exploring, and people-watching by myself.

I saw a tall Korean girl with beautiful, long brown hair cross the street. She was about 20 meters away from me. I stopped to look at her. She was really pretty and walked smoothly and gracefully. I thought to myself, "That is the kind of girl I'd really like to meet. Classy." She crossed to the other side of the street and went down the block. I was impressed.

I walked around on my own for some time. A couple hours later, around lunchtime, I was standing in front of Burger King, where I had plans to meet my student from L.A., Irene. Irene was always late for class, so I expected she might be late for our meeting.

I looked inside Burger King and there was the tall girl, eating by herself. Imagine my surprise and delight to see her again. I thought to myself, "Maybe she is with someone and the other person is away from the table for a moment. I'll wait for just a minute. If no one comes to her table or if she looks outside and sees me, then I'll go talk to her."

Just moments later she looked up. We made eye contact. If I'm sure I'm going to like the girl, I'm not shy about approaching her. I went in and told her that I was waiting for my friend and that I'd like to join her for about 10 minutes.

She spoke English well. Her name was Young Mi. She told me that her friend had stood her up.

I happened to have some pictures that I had just had developed and picked up that morning. They were of my first few days in Seoul. I showed them to Young Mi, thinking that the pictures of me and Korean friends around Seoul would show her that I was a friendly, social guy.

She quipped, "There are a lot of girls in these pictures. Are you sure you're not a playboy?" Good one, Young Mi.

Irene arrived. Thanks for being late, Irene, because I wouldn't have met Young Mi without you.

Irene did a nice thing and invited Young Mi to join us at another place across the street where we were going to eat. That was sweet of her. We three had a fun time talking together. I got to know Young Mi and caught up with Irene.

Young Mi and I exchanged email addresses, we wrote to each other every day afterwards, I went to visit her in Masan, got to meet her nice family at their home, and the rest happened naturally from there.

Good memories.

Korea Follows 0-0 "Win" with 0-0 "Loss"

2007-07-26T16:30:00.000+09:00

Fans Leave in Droves

I was watching the game in the lobby at the City Hall Annex building last night. There were about 20 government officials, mostly male, in the room. Not five seconds after the penalty kick shootout was over the room was empty. It reminded me of the way Koreans leave the table after a meal. Whoosh.

I don't think I can handle another nil-nil game, so it's a good thing Korea didn't make the final. I'm going out to meet some friends Saturday night; if the third place game against Japan happens to be on the TV where we are, then I'll check it. But I can't sit down and watch another whole game until Korea scores a goal at least.

I watched the Iran game at home last Sunday. In the first half I was able to predict a 0-0 finish.

Isn't Lee Chun-Soo's little jog in place before he takes a free kick cute? I can usually predict when he's going to shoot it over the bar.

Musee d'Orsay exhibition at the Seoul Arts Center

2007-07-22T23:04:00.000+09:00

We were at Seoul Arts Center for a show from the Orsay Museum in Paris. Some great paintings in the show, but the museum was very crowded (Sunday afternoon) and there were way too many kids.

I've written before that the way Koreans treat museum visits bugs me and today was no exception. For them a museum visit is seen as having an educational purpose. That takes all the joy out of it. You have a line of Koreans slowly trudging past the paintings. Kids start getting bored and running around and then the horseplay starts.

Meanwhile many people have those audio headsets on, so they aren't talking, just going around receiving information. There's no fun in it. Nobody says, "I love this picture!" Everyone acts like they don't have an opinion on the artworks other than that which is given to them. It's joyless.

I thought, "Am I a curmudgeon? I like kids, and I like museums. I like that kids are going to museums. But do they have to all be here running around today? Couldn't they come on a school field trip instead?"

The Term "Competition Rate"

2007-07-20T15:09:00.000+09:00

One phrase that I've been hearing occasionally from students is "competition rate." As in "The competition rate for that exam was 7:1." They mean that the number of people who passed the test was 1 in 7.

I got to thinking about that term. At first I thought of it as Konglish, pure and simple, and wanted to encourage students to nix it from their vocabulary. Then I thought of how we would say it in English, "The ratio of the number of students who took the test to the number of students who passed was 7:1." A bit wordy, isn't it? So now I've gone the other way and am tempted to start using "competition rate" myself, while explaining to students that it is not standard usage and they might have to explain it to a foreigner if they use it in conversation.

It's a Konglish coinage that I like.

I've also heard it used to describe the ratio of the number of people who apply for a job to the number of people who get the job.

I did a search on Google for it and found just this one example. It's from a Korean university, noting the ratio of the number of students that were accepted to the number of students who applied:

"The competition rates of major departments are as follows: Division of General Studies - 3.83:1, Dept. of Nursing - 4.22:1, Dept. of Economy - 5.49:1."

I wonder what you readers think of the term. Especially those of you who work at universities; you must come across it a lot here in "test-crazy Korea" (as I read this country described recently).

Thoughts on Music #4

2007-07-14T22:46:00.000+09:00

What are your thoughts on this lawsuit that the Rubinoos members have filed against Avril Lavigne? I found her song to be listenable only once. I hear no similarity.

The Rubinoos seem like honest guys--a conclusion that I come to based solely on their ablility to craft a pure pop confection like “I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend.” So I wonder what they are up to. I will say, cattily, that perhaps they should spend more time in the woodshed trying to write a follow-up to their golden single than in pursuing (spurious?) suits. I could never find anything else of theirs, other than their one great moment, that interested me.

Thoughts on Music #3

2007-07-14T22:41:00.000+09:00

There’s a new type of song that I’m starting to despise. I've come to refer to it as “the Starbucks cover,” because it is at the Seattle shops’ stores that I hear this kind of song the most. [By the way, for those not fluent in English: “a cover” is a version of a song originally made famous by another artist – what Koreans call a “remake.”]

Formula for the Starbucks cover: Take a hit from 20-30 years ago by an artist formerly thought of as uncool. Slow it down a bit. Put it another musical context – salsa and bossa nova seem to be popular, so do that rather than anything original. Do it completely humorlessly and straight. Count on hipster fans to rejoice at your witty ironic take on the whole thing. Repeat ad nauseum.

I’ve seen a lot of press about a Canadian (strike one) singer named Feist, who does a cover of an old Bee Gees song, “Inside and Out.” Seems like a perfect recipe for a Starbucks cover, so I am checking out the song online now. It’s not as bad as I expected. But why the raves? Why is this singer receiving so much press attention? Granted, I’ve only heard this one song. It’s not bad, but what’s special about it? It’s no better than the original (actually the stupid scratching at the end makes it worse). It’s done completely straight. It’s not as bad as the usual Starbucks cover -- I’ll give it that.

I can’t give you any examples of Starbucks covers as I don’t know who is responsible for them; I don't know who the "artists" are. Nor do I know how to post songs on a blog. But if you spend time at coffee shops and you care enough about music to follow what's playing, you know what I’m talking about.

Thoughts on Music #2

2007-07-14T22:37:00.000+09:00

Did you ever have a song that you liked more after you heard it done at a 노래방? Conversely, is there a song that you liked less after hearing it done in a singing room?

Here are my answers:

I never really liked “Hey Jude” when I was young. I have a vague memory of first hearing it as the Beatles performed it on a TV show on which members of the audience joined the band on stage for the long coda sing-along. Everyone had long hair and turtlenecks. Even at that tender age my bullshit meter was well-developed enough to smell some hippie crap.

Cut to years later. I was at my Korean boss’s house for a party. We were singing along to a top-notch TV karaoke system. Someone did “Hey Jude”. I paid more attention to the lyrics – heck, they were right there on the screen. The thoughts expressed were really sweet. Also, in the intervening years I had come to learn that the song was addressed to John Lennon’s son, which I thought was a classy move by Paul. I liked the song then and have liked it since.

Conversely, the other day I was with a friend at a 노래방 and essayed George Michael’s “Amazing.” My relationship with Mr. Michael goes back to his Wham! days. At that time he was just an MTV joke to fans who thought of themselves as sophisticated, like me and my friends. His first album came out and I remember him shaking his butt in the video. I wasn’t interested.

A short while later my new friend Scott professed a liking for Mr. Michael. As Scott has excellent musical taste, I was curious. Had I missed something with the former Wham! man’s solo career? I looked into the second album and found some things to like. Later there was an good version of the Temptations’ “Papa Was a Rollin’ Stone” on an interesting live EP. Elsewhere, there was a live Bonnie Raitt track that was well done. Henceforth I knew to keep my eye on Mr. Michael or risk missing something.

The famous bust came during this period. I didn’t care a whit what Mr. Michael was up to in the loo, but it became a defining moment in his career, unfortunately.

Afterwards he was at a peak of personal popularity with me. “Outside” was great; the cheeky video even better. “Fast Love” was wonderful. His career was going nowhere, stateside at least, and he’d long been absent from the stage, but he was gaining artistic credibility with me.

When did it all come crashing down? I don’t know. Maybe it was after one drug bust too many. Maybe it was that he was in the news in too many stories unrelated to music. Maybe it was that he never seemed to be performing live.

Maybe it was really paying attention to “Amazing” the other day while singing it. The melody is lazy. The lyrics are lame. It seems that all of his songs now are about himself [my grammar check is saying “him” here. Is that right?]. A good self-referential song can be done, but it takes a light touch – see Bob Dylan’s “My Back Pages” or John Lennon’s “The Ballad of John and Yoko.” Mr. Michael’s songs about his travails are humorless and have an unpleasant self-pitying tone.

The other day the lyrics to "Amazing" just seemed too self-justifying and boring. The song was a big turn-off.

I know better than to write off Mr. Michael but I’d like to hear some good songs and see a good concert or two before I step back into his camp. I wish him good luck. He’s got good taste in cover versions and I’m sure he’ll do something good again. I’d like to hear it.

Thoughts on Music #1

2007-07-14T22:25:00.000+09:00

A good writer, David Brooks, wrote a piece on pop music that I recommend. I read it in the IHT the other day. It is on the New York Times online. (Not sure if just anyone can get to it.) It starts like this:

"If you've been driving around the United States listening to pop radio stations this spring and summer, you'll have noticed three songs that are pretty much unavoidable, and each of them is a long way from puppy love.

First, there's "Before He Cheats," by Carrie Underwood. This is a song about a woman who catches her boyfriend in a bar fooling around with someone else. But she's not wounded or insecure. She's got nothing but contempt for the slobbering, cologne-wearing jerk. She's disgusted by the bleached blond girly-girl who's leading him on and who doesn't even know how to drink whiskey.

As she rages, she's out there in the parking lot rendering a little frontier justice - slashing his tires, taking a baseball bat to his headlights, carving her name into his leather seats."

_____

Here is the link:

http://iht.nytimes.com/protected/articles/2007/07/10/opinion/edbrooks.php

I'm not a prude but...

2007-06-27T22:45:00.000+09:00

...I'm not feeling this new trend of "drinking interviews" ("취중토크", literally "talking while getting drunk") with female celebrities. Am I the only one who finds this a bit creepy? I see it as connected to the Korean penchant for:

1. Drinking after work. Wouldn't want to go home and be with the wife and kids.

2. Getting new co-workers drunk. Because there can't be a real team relationship until that has been done.

3. Drinking at MTs ("Membership Training", a kind of business or college retreat focusing on drinking and games). Recipe for sexual harrassment: Put older males and younger females together, add pressure to drink and copious amounts of alcohol.

First there was a drinking interview with Hyori (이효리) on a TV show; that inspired another with Eva from 미녀들의 수다 ("Global Talk Show"); now today I read about one with Honey Lee, Miss Korea and 3rd place finisher at the Miss Universe pagaent(http://popseoul.com/2007/06/26/honey-lees-dream-lover-is/); and in doing "research" for this post I came up with a picture of Ivy, as well. That's an Eva/Ivy/Hyori/Honey montage above.

Would the media have drinking chats with male celebrities? No, they wouldn't.

Am I really upset about this or am I just using it as an excuse to post pictures of the four women? More the former than the latter, but both are true.

A Korean Habit That Frustrates Me to No End

2007-06-12T23:03:00.000+09:00

There is a Korean habit that I still don't understand. I've been here four years and I don't get it. Rather than stew about it, I'll write about it. I think I'll call it "The Habit of Silence."

Here are two examples, from my work experience, to illustrate the Habit of Silence:

1. When I was a teacher at a hagwon my first year here, all the teachers were asked to turn in our hours each month. Often, the paycheck that came later didn't match the hours that I had submitted.

The thing that bothered more than the pay being wrong is that I wasn't notified about it first. I would have thought that the accountant, noticing the discrepancy, would have let me know that my pay wasn't going to match the hours I had submitted. Or that she would have notified the manager, who would then have told me. But neither of those things happened. It was left to us, the teachers, to bring to their attention that our pay was wrong. It was somewhat humiliating.

Now, at the agency I currently work for, the same thing happens. Why don't they want to tell whitey the bad news? Why pretend that everything is okay when it isn't?

2. A similar thing happened at my work today. I teach at a government office now.

The assistant manager came humming (always a bad sign with him) into my office at about 5:10. I usually leave at 5:00, so I think he was figuring I wouldn't be there. He had the final copy of some class handouts that I had turned in.

He left them with me, assuring me there was no problem, we could talk about it tomorrow, etc.

I briefly glanced at the handouts. My original drafts had been altered. Basically the whole 8 pages had been reformatted and edited down to 7 pages. The pagination was off. Bold type had been added to some sentences, in a way that made the structure unclear. Little things -- but why didn't he mention them? Earlier, he had told me about a couple of spelling changes only.

Why would he, or whoever did it, make those changes? The changes themselves don't bother me that much -- what I don't like is not being consulted about them.

Again, why did he not want to tell Whitey?

____

I have a few theories about this habit of Koreans:

1. Nobody wants to be the bearer of bad news, because whitey doesn't take bad news well.

I have seen normally cool-headed, rational foreigners lose it here when coming up against Alice in Wonderland-like nonsense.

2. It's not a Korean boss's responsibility to explain things to workers.

Still, I have to wonder if Korean employees get explanations more often than foreigners do. I really don't know.

3. It's just the Korean way to avoid conflict.

I'm reminded of this: At lunch, I often ask the assistant manager if anything is new. I ask specifically so that he'll tell me of anything that I need to know. The answer is usually "Nothing is new." When I find out later, as I sometimes do, that there was something he didn't tell me, I get frustrated.

4. Koreans just aren't good sharers of information.

The Western habit of starting a conversation with "What's new?" or "What's going on?" often leads to the sharing of news, whereas "Did you eat yet?" doesn't really jump-start a dialogue.

____

If you have any advice or experiences that you would like to share, please do.

Korean Ice Cream Wars

2007-06-12T15:44:00.001+09:00

And the winner is...

Goo Goo.

A little background:

I went into the convenience store at my office one day last summer. The woman who works there enjoys talking to me in my limited Korean. I asked her to recommend one ice cream cone from among the many brands on offer. She suggested "World Cone." I ate it and liked it, so got one regularly throughout the summer. It cost about a dollar. I didn't think to try another brand of cone, oddly enough.

Flash forward a few months: I read in the paper that four Korean ice cream companies had been found guilty of price fixing. "Find me an aspect of Korean life that hasn't been touched by corruption," I said to myself.

The next part of the story occured a couple of weeks ago: I was with a student waiting at a bus stop. It was hot and I said to the student, "Run into that convenience store and buy us each an ice cream. I'll treat." Being the teacher, being older, and having a foot injury allowed me to be bossy in that situation.

The student came back with two cones called Goo Goo. I ate mine and realized that my life had just changed for the better. Somehow the ice cream was soft, not frozen hard. It had a delicious flavor, with some marshmallow and nuts, so I'd compare it to Rocky Road.

A few days later I was lounging at World Cup Stadium at halftime of the Netherlands' trouncing of Korea (see post below). I told another student about my Goo Goo experience. I asked her to name another cone that might be worth trying. She suggested "Meta Cone." Good name. I tried it a few days later. Great!

Today I asked the same student for the name of the fourth ice cream brand (of the four miscreant companies mentioned above) so that I could try it, thus completing a taste test of the leading Korean brands.

Well, I have just finished a Bravo cone (her father's favorite, my student said) and the results are in:

1. Goo Goo
2. Meta Cone
3. World Cone
4. Bravo

Which is your favorite?

Let me review Bravo briefly: The slogan on the wrapper says "Bravo will lead you to the sweets." This slogan speaks to me. Bravo is a good cone. I hate to put it in last place, but somebody had to finish in fourth position. Bravo is similar to World Cone -- the difference being that at the bottom of a World Cone you get a tasty, unexpected chunk of chocolate.

Right, it's not busy at work these days. More hardhitting posts to follow.

Gratuitous but Necessary

2007-06-11T16:54:00.001+09:00

Enjoy this hit from Hyori's new photo album. It's going to be a good summer.

대한민국 done lost again

2007-06-03T00:26:00.000+09:00

Korea vs. The Netherlands
Sangam World Cup Stadium
Seoul, Korea
June 2, 2007

I went to the game with two of my students. It was my third time to see the national team play; all three games were at that stadium.

I really like the venue. Easy subway access, inside it's easy to find one's seats, tickets are just W20,000 for the top level, food and drinks are priced very reasonably, beer is availabe, sightlines are great, the pitch is beautiful, the fans are into it, and the air circulation is good through the open spaces at the top of the stadium.

Lots of foreigners in attendance tonight. More so than in the past when I saw games against Saudi Arabia and Iran (or was it Iraq?).

The Dutch players weren't wearing their famed orange; it was their away kit of white with blue trim. There were a number of fans in orange, though. Korea was in their ugly dark red (?) with dark (and thus hard to read) blue numbers.

Tonight, unfortunately, Korea "never looked like scoring", as Brits say it. 대한민국 was a team of players with a lot of enthusiasm but only half-baked ideas. It was the least impressive that I have seen them.

Final score: Netherlands 2, Korea 0 (just as I predicted before the game!), on a first-half penalty and a nice second-half goal on a good long pass to a player who had made a smart run to the corner, and then a quick cross to the two players rushing to the goal mouth. It was one of those goals you could see coming, long before the actual shot, as the play unfolded.

Lee Young Pyo was not there, and of course Park Ji Sung is out injured. For the visitors, no Van Nistelrooy or Robben.

Korean fans do one funny thing: They overreact to any approach by Koreans on goal. Any sally, no matter how unproductive, gets the crowd in a tizzy.

The crowd skews younger than sports crowds in the States. Not sure why that is. Speculated that it is due to higher ticket prices back home, which leave younger folks unable to afford tickets.

At the game I was thinking about how much I enjoy watching soccer in person and came up with a few thoughts regarding watching the sports below in stadiums rather than on TV:

Soccer - In the stadium you can see the strategy and tactics much better. The whole field is laid out before you. Any seat high up is good.

Baseball - Good if you are behind home plate. If not -- say you are down the foul lines -- the direction of batted balls is hard to track. A plus: Hot dogs and beer are great and there are plently of breaks in the action to enjoy one's food.

Football - Also really good in person, especially watching long pass plays develop.

Basketball - Too expensive, and there's something about it (maybe that it's indoors?) that just isn't exciting. Disappointing live; I actually like it better on TV.

Quintessential Korean Moment

2007-05-01T13:47:00.000+09:00

It's four years since I came to Korea.

The other day I had a quintessential Korean moment:

I was in a yogurt shop. Sitting over against the window were a young soldier in uniform and his girlfriend, a Naver girl. They were eating yogurt and feeding spoonfuls to each other. Sunlight fell through the window, and a green tree just outside served as a backdrop to the scene. A cheesy SG Wannabe ballad was playing. (Actually, that's redundant. All SG Wannabe songs are cheesy ballads). It seemed as if there were nothing more that the young swain and his besotted girl could do to make this a classic courtship moment.

Ah, but the young lovers had one more trick up their sleeves that this old codger hadn't anticipated: they pulled out their cell phones and starting taking googoo-eyed pictures of each other. Darn, I should have seen that coming.

A Visit to Hooters

2007-04-30T16:06:00.000+09:00

A Hooters restaurant opened here a few months ago. It's been drawing crowds.

http://www.hooterskorea.co.kr/index.asp

I went there on Saturday night with my friend Mike, who married a Korean girl. I invited Aya, my Korean classmate, and her Japanese friend, too. Our group was two American guys (Mike and I); four Korean women, all of whom speak English -- two are English teachers; and two Japanese women (Aya and her friend).

I'd post pictures, but with my old school film camera, I won't get the photos back for a couple of weeks. It was fun to go into the all-digital camera store in Gangnam and request film earlier in the day, just to see the semi-annoyed expression on the face of the clerk.

Aya, her friend Mayumi ("my" + "you" + "me"), and I met first. Aya and I speak Korean together; Aya and Mayumi speak Japanese together; and Mayumi and I have English in common, as she is an English teacher in Japan and is nearly fluent. It sounds complicated and hard -- actually it was fun and easy.

Hooters was pretty good. The food was great, it was good to hear American popular music, and the waitresses were cute. One had hooters to be proud of.

The waitresses spend so much time entertaining and dancing that the service suffers, though. I've gotten spoiled by Korean service standards: it is possible to get a waitress at other restaurants here within five seconds by either calling across the room or pressing the service button ("여기요 button" as my friend dubbed it). At Hooters it was not so easy, so we were frustrated with the slow service. The place was packed with maybe 150 people, and there were only about 8 waitresses.

We got impatient waiting so long to get our table cleared, so we started putting stuff on the floor behind us -- menus, paper towel roll, whatever. But we picked it all up later.

A Visit to the Museum

2007-04-30T15:45:00.000+09:00

Last week four of us from the government office where I work went with our students, who are government officials, on a field trip to the Museum of Contemporary Art in Gwacheon, which is in a beautiful area at the foot of the mountains nearby. It's next to Seoul Land. We went by bus. The ride up through the woods, around the lake, and up to the museum was the best part of the day. There were lots of flowers in bloom and spring was in the air.

The museum visit, itself, was a disappointment. Before we went to the museum, I learned that our director was going to go with us, and that we were going to be taken on a guided tour, which led me to believe that the trip was not going to be much fun -- and I was right. The two assistant directors were worrywarts most of the time. There were two seats at the front of the bus cleared for the director, then one of the assistant directors said to me "If you are okay, Director General P--- would like for you to sit with him at the front of the bus." (That 'If you are okay...' is a common mistake that he makes.) Our director is a nice enough guy, but relationships here are based so much on seniority that when he and I have a conversation we don't speak as equals; instead, he talks to me about work and I listen. He often speaks about how well the program is going and brings up the excellent marks that program participants have given us in evaluations -- but to the point that it sounds like boasting.

At the museum, the guide was friendly, but she talked so much. She had some members of our group (there were 63 of us) sit down in front of her while she was talking, with the rest of us standing in the back -- like we were a group of schoolkids! We didn't get to see very much of the museum on our own, we were under her supervision until almost the end.

I've noticed Koreans' behavior at museums a few times. The cultural difference that strikes me is that foreigners often share their opinions about artworks, whereas Koreans are less likely to do so, and seem to think that if they don't like something it's because they don't understand it. They don't seem to trust their opinion, in other words.

It's a country that's just getting started in its appreciation of art. Thus, the mood at museums here is different. The focus is on art as education rather than on art as an enjoyable, pleasurable experience.

I don't see many men at museums in Korea, mostly just women and children.

I didn't see very many works that I liked, either. That wasn't true when I went to this museum twice previously.

"Mug Cup"

2007-04-21T23:35:00.000+09:00

I'm in Starbucks fairly regularly. Not that I would ever go there to teach private lessons, because that's illegal, yet I do find myself in one Seoul location or another a few times a week.

Let me break down the branches:

Seoul Nat'l University Station: Nice, friendly staff. I see a lot of the same workers there regularly.

Some Sunday mornings a Kyopo Christian group meets here before taking a shuttle bus off to church. It's funny to watch them for a few reasons:

1. Kyopos (overseas Koreans) just look funny in Seoul. Because they've lived overseas, they dress, act, talk, move, and gesture differently than native Koreans. The difference is often striking enough that is possible to spot Kyopos from range, without hearing them speak. In a funny way, they look sort of like imposter Koreans.

2. I have noticed that when two Canadians meet each other for the first time in Seoul, their conversation follows a pattern like this: First, they will ask about each other's hometowns. Then each guy will start throwing out names of people he knows in the other's town. Invariably, they have a friend in common. Canada must not have many people, because I've heard this conversation a number of times.

3. It's funny to watch young Christians in a social group. They want to flirt like regular kids, but their faith prevents them from saying anything truly risque, so their flirting is really milquetoasty. I watched a 1/2-hour of it one day and didn't know whether to run away or stay and try to handle more of it.

I hope I haven't lost any Christian Canadian Kyopo readers out there. Let's move on.

Sometimes ajussi ("uncle") hikers will drop into this Starbucks, as buses stop in front to take people up to Kwanak Mountain. Ajussis just don't get Starbucks. They don't know how to be quiet in there. They'll often get on their phone and ruin the mood.

One morning I was with my Korean female friend and we both smelled smoke. "What the heck," I said, "Oh, look, there is an ajussi over there smoking." The guy was using one of those little water cups as an ashtray. I predicted that no staff person would have the nerve to go over to him and ask him not to smoke. As the oldest customer among the 10 or so there, I felt it was my duty to call this guy on doing something that I could tell, by his furtiveness, he knew was wrong. I asked my friend to help me get my Korean straight as I practiced what I would say to the ajussi, then went over there and said he couldn't smoke in Starbucks. He gave me some attitude and asked why not. I repeated that it wasn't allowed. He scoffed and put the cigarette out. Guess he'd never had someone tell him he couldn't do something.

If I've offended any Kyopo Christian Canadian ajussis up to this point, I apologize.

Sinsa Station: This is a good one. It's got a quiet second floor, and a bit older crowd as there is no college nearby.

Also at Sinsa Station there is a new location not 100 meters away, up the street towards Samsung and Yakult. This one never seems to have many customers. I think Starbucks is pushing it by opening too many new locations.

Bangbae: If you like good looking, wealthy, young housewives, then this is the place for you. Saw a whitey there a couple of times; he parked his silver Mercedes convertible out front. For no logical reason, that fascinated me. A whitey with a Mercedes who drove across the sidewalk like a Korean to park.

Gwacheon: Pretty good until you have to take a pee. The restrooms are far enough away that a shuttle bus might be in order. At about 12:30 the mass of Korean office workers who went to lunch at 12:00 starts rolling in and it's time to clear out of there.

Downtown: A couple of faceless locations shoehorned into office buildings. Over expansion.

Gangnam: Good if you like loud salsa music and young female Pagoda students.

The other day I understood something at Starbucks that I had never realized before. It took me only 4 years to figure this out, so let me mention it. After I order an iced latte, sometimes the clerk will say "Mug cup"? I thought this meant, "Would you like a mug or a cup?" as in "For here or to go?" I'd say, "Mug." Sometimes I thought they looked confused. Then the other day I got it: What a native speaker calls a "mug" is called a "mug cup" by Koreans.

New Pet Peeves

2007-04-17T00:15:00.000+09:00

1. Running in subway stations.

I don't mean running to catch one's train -- that's excuseable. I'm talking about just random running through the station. I even see it in stations that are not transfer stations.

In the past week or so I've started to count the number of runners. I'll see 2-6 in many stations.

2. Public displays of exhaustion.

Examples: the high school kid who came into the yogurt shop and threw his head down onto the table with a heavy thud and a loud sigh; subway corpses; students with their heads down on their desks trying to take naps at break time; students who are still napping once class has started.

Lastly, an old favorite...

3. Loud music and noise everywhere.

I've basically given up doing private lessons in the afternoon or evening anymore because there is simply no public place quiet enough to have them. If it were legal to give privates, I would do them in a coffee shop before 11:00a.m. and then call it a day.

One thing I miss about back home is quiet walks late at night. I mean really quiet. Like you strain your ears to see if you can hear anything: a car in the distance, a bird. So quiet that any sound registers distinctly and individually.

Add your own pet peeves below:

Introducing Top Star "Gianna Jun"

2007-03-18T20:54:00.000+09:00

From SportsKhan (Korean), Jun Ji-Hyun is filming a Hollywood movie called "Blood: The Last Vampire." Since her name has been deemed too difficult for foreigners to pronounce, her English screen name will be "Gianna Jun" (지아나 전).

The movie is scheduled to be released in summer 2008. Filming is currently taking place in Buenos Aires, with more filming scheduled in China.

Jun Ji-Hyun plays Saya, a vampire hunter.

All her lines will be in English. If it weren't illegal, I'd be available for private tutoring. The Man keeps me down, again.

I wonder if they have an expression like "The Man" in Korean. Could it be "The Ajussi"?

Anthony Lane reviews "The Host"

2007-03-17T16:57:00.000+09:00

Here's Anthony Lane's review of "The Host" in The New Yorker. He's a great writer. This is the best review I've read of the movie.

Here's another good review from Associated Press.

Alex Ferguson 아저씨

2007-03-09T00:35:00.000+09:00

I have a student, a young Korean woman, to whom I am teaching English. Since her boyfriend likes soccer, she asked that I spend a day explaining soccer teams and leagues to her.

When I was explaining my favorite team, Manchester United, it occured to me that the best way to describe Alex Ferguson is as a Scottish ajussi (아저씨). Perhaps you don't know the word. It is translated in the dictionary as "an uncle, a man; Mister; Sir; Pop; Uncle." But that doesn't quite cover it.

It's a Korean male with an ego and a sense of entitlement -- who can simultaneously display a mischievous, fun-loving attitude. Impulsive, sentimental, nationalistic, generous, crazy, narrow-minded, funny, sincere, full of bull, impulsive, loud, fun-loving, overbearing. Can be great fun to drink with -- or can be annoying to sit next to. Can be your friend or enemy. That's an ajussi.

White Day

2007-03-08T23:25:00.000+09:00

미녀들의 수다's Saori

2007-02-25T11:41:00.000+09:00

I've been getting back into this TV show again.

For those of you who don't know it, it's on Sunday mornings on KBS2 for an hour. The title translates to something like "Chat with Beautiful Girls." It features a guest group of 5 Korean guys talking about light topics with a regular group of 16 foreign women who speak Korean well. Today's topics were the usual fare: dating Korean guys, mini home pages, visiting fortune tellers, and the like.

They also talked about the origin of the term "된장녀." I still don't get it. I couldn't follow the Korean guy's explanation well enough. If anyone can explain it to me, please do.

UPDATE: My student explained this term to me. Now I get it. She said that "젠장" means "Damn it!" or "Hell!" So a man might say "젠장녀" to mean "Damn woman!" Since that sounds so sharp, the slang term has been softened to "된장녀."

Today's Korean guys were alright. The guy second from right was a real 아저씨. I liked the guy in the middle: good looking, well dressed, spoke English well, good manners.

I "envy" these women because they speak Korean so well. I understand about 30-40% of what's going on.

I have some favorites:

Leslie Benfield (American). What a smile.

Saori (Japanese). What a fox. Go to her Cyworld minihomepy for some midriff-baring shots.
http://www.cyworld.com/saori0519

Eva (British, but looks Asian). The kind of girl that your mom would adore.

손요 (Chinese). Classy.
http://www.cyworld.com/yaoyao

There is also (or used to be?) a second Japanese girl on the show. She was hot, too.

Then there are some others:

1. The Canadian one who wears glasses. She's a bit loud. I was in Itaewon once and heard a loud voice that sounded familiar. I looked over and, sure enough, it was this girl. Today she jokingly threatened to quit the show. I'm not going to say that would be a good idea...

2. There is a blonde one from Ukraine. She seems okay, but has a habit of just making little one-liner jokes. This is real type of language learner, I've noticed. I've had students who do this, for example one guy whose only regular contribution to class was to wait for another student to finish a point before mockingly adding "Whatever." And we all know foreigners who speak Korean only to the extent of "바보", "변태", and all the swear words.

Back to the show: It's good to watch because it helps me understand more Korean. I understand some of the women better than others. For example, I don't really understand Leslie Benfield or the Canadian girl because they speak so quickly and fluently. I understand Eva and the Chinese girl better; they speak simpler and slower Korean.

By the way, there's a good interview with Leslie Benfield in this month's (February) issue of Seoul magazine. She talks about what being on the show means to her, and discusses the controversial incident from last year in which a Korean comic did a bit of racist humor.

Production Note: Usually Korean production values are top-notch, but there's a glitch on this show. It occurs when we get a wide shot. We see the Korean guys below, and above them we see the in-studio screen on which one of the foreign woman is speaking. Due to a second or two delay, the foreign woman's mouth on the screen is not moving in synch with what we hear her saying. Disconcerting and headache-inducing.

My favorite comment about this show, back when it started out, was from a blog poster who wrote that he was still waiting for a show on which foreign guys talk with Korean women. We all know that will never happen. It would be too much for the collective Korean 아저씨 ego to take.

Marshall Plan?

2007-02-17T22:21:00.000+09:00

Roh: South’s aid program is like the Marshall Plan
http://joongangdaily.joins.com/article/view.asp?aid=2872553

Yeah, right. If you mean something like starting the Marshall Plan in 1942. Start it on Hitler's birthday as a show of goodwill. Give the Nazis (Norks) enough that they can both develop the V-1 and V-2 rocket programs quicker at Peenemünde and get jet fighters fully operational, thus prolonging the war. That's a good idea.

Also, join with the Germans in starting a program at Bergen-Belsen in which camp "guests" can earn a small amount of money by making bowls. Pressure companies large and small to open factories there.

Finally, ask a large automobile company to give the Führer millions in deutschmarks for the rights to set up tours to the mountains in Berchtesgaden.

Great ideas all! Let's buy this man a Nobel Peace Prize.

Shameful Silence

2007-02-12T13:52:00.000+09:00

There's a good article in the JoongAng Daily today about the left's silence on North Korean human rights issues:

http://joongangdaily.joins.com/article/view.asp?aid=2872334

Here's a few choice howlers from a Mr. Park, "a devoted human rights activist in Seoul." You'll see just how devoted he is in a moment, as he defends silence on rights abuses in the North:

He also contends that the conservatives here are under U.S. influence, saying that Washington has made a “political offensive” of North Korea’s human rights record. He is adamant in using the term “offensive.”“We should remind ourselves,” he said, “that Washington has played a role in bringing about the human right infringements in the North, such as the food shortages, by imposing sanctions.”

He claims that North Korea is a special case. “There is a specific viewpoint needed for North Korean human rights,” he said, “different from that of the general human rights perspective. This is why it is wrong to gauge the North Korean situation by the general perspective.”

“My question here is ‘How verifiable and trustworthy is the information that we have now on the human rights infringements?’”

But because of his skepticism about the reality of such things as starvation and public executions in the North, Mr. Park did concede that there were some issues in North Korea that he would like to look into if he could. “Trans-genders’ and women’s rights,” Mr. Park said, “because there probably are such minorities in the North.”

Do You Acknowledge Other Foreigners?

2007-02-11T01:37:00.000+09:00

I've got a question for those of you who are foreigners in Korea: Do you acknowledge other foreigners?

Of course if you are in Itaewon or on a military base the question doesn't apply. However, when you are out and about in an area with mostly Koreans, and you come across another foreigner, what do you do?

I typically make eye contact, smile or nod, and perhaps say "hi". I'd say at least half of the other foreigners I run across do the same.

There's a certain type that doesn't, though. I know they saw me, they know I saw them, and yet their somewhat haughty look says "Why should I acknowledge you?"

Hmm, haven't figured that one out. How about just because it's fun to have a laugh about it? Don't take yourself so seriously, I want to say to these types. Though perhaps they live in Itaewon and see a lot of foreigners daily. I don't. There are days when I don't see any.

Now, having written the above, there is a certain type of foreigner that I do try to avoid. It's one who appears too needy for another whitey to latch onto. The type who'd love to have a loud conversation with you on the bus or subway in which they'd complain about something in Korea -- as if no one else on board but us could understand English.

Today on the Subway

2007-02-11T01:10:00.000+09:00

Today on the Subway: (a typical day on the Seoul subway system)

1. I got on the train in the morning at 1-1 (car one, first door). There was a blind guy sitting on the ground, taking a break before heading back up the train again to get money. If you don't see a blind person on the subway on Saturday, it's news. My American friend was always fascinated by the question, "Where do they get their music?" It's all the same bad, sad melodies.

2. A few stations down the line, a tall imposing young guy got on. He started aggressively demanding that the grandmother sitting across from me move over a couple of seats. No one could figure out what he was on about. As the scene continued, it became clear that this guy was not right in the head -- as in mentally handicapped. He simply wanted room to spread out his stuff on an empty seat next to him, but his manner was wholly inappropriate. I motioned for the grandmother to come over and take my seat. She got up to move over and gave me a thankful look. I moved down the car and stood, as there were no seats left. That was my good deed for the day.

3. Later in the day I was sitting next to a young guy, 20-something, who was feverishly tapping out a text message on the hand phone in his left hand, while at the same time paying equal attention to a game he was playing in his right hand, and he had headphones on, too. There was something extremely annoying about it. I wanted to shove something else electronic into his field of vision to see if I could blow his circuit breaker.

4. Two junior-high girls standing alone near a door, quietly singing an R&B song to each other in a sweet, self-contained way. The first girl had on shorts and sneakers with no socks. It was just above freezing.

5. A boy about 5 years old eating from a bag of snacks, which he was dropping (the snacks, that is) on the floor at a somewhat consistent rate. I got to wondering if his mom was going to make him pick them up before they got off the train. She did. Good mom.

6. (Last one) After a transfer I was on the platform and first in line to get on the arriving train. The doors of the train opened, quite a few people came out, and those of us on the platform stepped aside to let them by. An ajumma behind me began to creep forward slowly but perceptibly. I could tell she was going to try to get in ahead of me. I put up my arm to block her, just as the last person departing the train passed by, I went in first, and the ajumma hurried in behind me and got the seat that she wanted a few seats away. I imagined my dad and mom seeing me "pull that stunt" (as my dad would certainly phrase it) and felt a small twinge of shame. Still, I don't know how I could have handled it better.

Jaurim single

2007-02-07T20:59:00.000+09:00

Here's a link to a live performance of the first single, "You and Me", from the sixth Jaurim album, Ashes to Ashes. (FYI, albums in Korea are often identified by their number and title.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmIW5N6bHrs

It's got a nice VH-1 vibe to it.

I prefer it to the second single, a live performance of which is here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C98Lj6k7zkc

Here's the lyrics to "You and Me":

넌 미안하다며 나를 버리고
사랑했다고 거짓말하고
You say “sorry” and you throw me away,
You say “I loved you” but you are lying.

난 괜찮을 거라 나를 속이고
다 잊을거라 거짓말하고
I’ll be alright, you say, but you are deceiving me,
You say that I’ll forget everything, but it’s a lie.

어디까지가 사랑인건지 언제부터 난 혼자였는지
How long will I love you?
Since when have I been alone? I don’t know.

사랑했는지 미워했는지 습관이었는지
Did I love you? Did I hate you?
Was it always that way? I don’t know.

어디까지가 사실인건지
언제부터 넌 여기 없는지
How long will it be like this?
Since when have you been gone? I don’t know.

사랑해봐도 미워해봐도
난 너무 아픈 걸
I’ve tried to love you and I’ve tried to hate you,
It's really hurting me.

너와 나는 그렇게 만나 사랑을 하고
너와 나는 사랑을 하고
You and me meet like this and love and...
You and me love and...

너와 나는 지금 헤어져 타인이 되고
너와 나는 타인이 되고
You and me broke up and became strangers,
You and me are strangers.

_________________________

My pal Rachel checked my translation and pointed out a couple of lines that I botched.
Thanks, Ri Ri.

If you want to suggest any changes to the translation of the lyrics, please do.

This group is God's gift to Korea, by the way. She's the best performer. She's Bowie to Bi's Vanilla Ice.

A Question for Recent College Graduates

2007-02-01T16:01:00.001+09:00

Are students in U.S. colleges still using blue books for tests? Or did they go out as the Internet came in?

How do students write essay tests these days? I'm teaching a class for Koreans going overseas to study in graduate school programs and I'm not sure if I still need to explain what a blue book is.

Guess my age.^^

What the hell is going on with Baby Vox?

2007-01-28T12:37:00.000+09:00

the old Baby Vox

I'm really disturbed by the "new" Baby Vox. I don't think any of the members were in the old band. The band was re-formed using all new girls. That's crazy!

There are some clips on Bugs Music of a press conference. It's a joke. The members of "Baby Vox" arrive and are given flowers by "fans." How can this band have fans when they haven't done anything yet? It's so phony. It's kind of disturbing. I get the impression that the "fans" are not really fans at all, but that they were just hired by the record company to impersonate fans. Weird!

Some might say, "What do you expect? It's Korean manufactured pop?" True. Yet I don't think these standards are too high:

1. The band members should really be the band members.

2. The "fans" should not be paid fans.

Doing a little more research, I see that the new band is being billed as "Baby Vox Re.V." The "Re.V" = "Renaissance Voice."

Predictable Conversations

2007-01-26T22:38:00.000+09:00

There is a conversation game that you can play with Koreans. If I'm in a good mood, it is fun. If I'm in a bad mood, it is depressingly familiar and shows the conformity here.

See below. After I make comment A, Koreans make comment B. And I don't mean some of the time -- INVARIABLY!

A: Japanese people have good manners.
B: Yes, it is true that they have good manners, but they hide their true feelings inside.

A: I like soccer.
B: (Questioning/perplexed look) But as I know American people don't like soccer.

A: I like fall in Korea. It's my favorite season here.
B: Yes, the air is clean and the sky is high.

-----

I mean, they say these sentences verbatim. It's like they were schooled in them.

I'd be interested to read some A/B conversations that you have had. Please add to my list.

Word List

2007-01-26T22:26:00.000+09:00

I find there are certain words that I can't say in Korea without making a face or adding sarcasm to my voice. Feel free to add to the list:

student activist

386 generation

candlelight vigil

Sunshine Policy

East Sea

wayward brother

unification

Kaesong

netizen

hagwon owner

Rocky Mountain Tavern

Bi / Rain

fan death

ubiquitous

well-being

hub

Uri Party

Dunkin' Donuts

talent [as a noun]

Need iPod Advice

2007-01-23T19:13:00.000+09:00

I have a question that some of you who are studying language on your iPod may be able to answer.

I made a language playlist and added Korean lessons from CDs to my iPod. So far, so good.

The problem occurs when I want to listen to music only. I like to use "Shuffle Songs", but the language tracks are interspersed with the music.

How can I remove the language tracks from "Shuffle Songs" and keep them separate from the music tracks?

A kind of half-assed solution that isn't working too well is this: I made a smart playlist with music only, and shuffled it. However, everytime I listen to that playlist, the same first song plays. I want a true shuffle of songs, where each time I turn on the iPod a new song plays, as in "Shuffle Songs".

I thought of one solution: Try to designate the language tracks as an "Audiobook" so that they won't be included when I use "Shuffle Songs" to play my music library. (Did you know about that useful feature? iPod won't shuffle audiobooks in with your songs.) However, I can't figure out how to do that.

Any advice?

Thanks.

시조 [a three-verse Korean ode]

2006-10-24T04:11:00.000+09:00

I recommend this post over at the Marmot's Hole where visitors have posted 시조, Korean poems of three lines consisting of 14-16 syllables, with seasonal changes being a common theme. I especially like those written by the poster "Michael." His poems at comments #1, 7, 15, 18, 19 are witty takes on life in Korea.

Inspired by that post, I stayed up and wrote the six 시조 below. Fun.

1.
Living in a foreign land, each day brings a new challenge:
Learning the language; reserving tickets; traveling alone;
trying to find Kim Hye Soo’s 타짜 tits on the Internet.

2.
Each day I punch the Kaesong clock and work for the boss man.
Trying to please, not step out of line, making pots and pans.
And then my pay goes to the Dear Leader and politicians dance.

3.
I spent last winter in 강남 and noted street behavior.
There were many girls in skirts and 아저씨 spitting on the street.
One day I counted. Made a game of it. The girls won, 6-1.

4.
Three weeks ago I stopped to ask myself, “Are those yellow leaves
or is that a yellow building that I see there through the trees?”
Today I had to borrow a windbreaker it was so cold.

5.
I was the last in my office to still be wearing short sleeves.
“안 추워?” they asked me. But I have body “fur” and they don’t.
What’s “Indian summer” in Korean? Anyway, it’s gone.

6.
My friend went to see a sexy Korean tattoo artist.
She worked on his torso, moving in close. He smelled her shampoo.
Both the tattoo and the unsatisfied boner were painful.

Added this one:

7.
The autumn breeze blows out the last candle at the vigil.
Tomorrow we rise early for our first Hanchongnyon meeting.
Being a college student is so hard. No time to study.

Introducing Mr. Yun

2006-10-23T16:11:00.000+09:00

I'm at my office here at the government training center. One of the assistant managers, Mr. Yun, is in rare form today. Even by his standards.

He is trying to come up with a name for a program we are starting next year for Korean government officials going abroad to study in graduate school programs. He told me he wants a "fresh" and "attractive" name. By the way, he is the kind of Korean who loves buzzwords like "ubiquitous" and "hub."

About three times I have suggested that he stick with his original subtitle of "Prepatory Course for Overseas Study", but he keeps trying to punch it up. Every 20 minutes or so he'll come in with a new idea.

Some of his "winners" are:

A Keen Peephole into Overseas Study

A Pantascopic Program for Overseas Study [I had to look it up, too]

An Endoscopic Program for Overseas Study

I gave him a talk about using the simplest, most appropriate word. But he plans to bounce these ideas off some other whiteys who teach here in the morning.

He promised not to bother me again today, so I can post this safe in the knowledge that he won't come barging in my office again. By the way, his typical sentence as he enters is "This is Chae Yun." As if we were on the phone. "It's me" is correct, but I don't want to teach him, because he will either forget it, disagree with me about it, or always smile and laugh when he says it in the future, as if it's a kind of inside joke between us. He won't be able to just use it naturally.

아담 in all her pre-nuptial glory

2006-10-23T14:32:00.000+09:00

My friend Mike is getting married in a couple of weeks. Here's his fiance getting ready. Great picture.

Student's trip to Japan

2006-10-22T15:22:00.000+09:00

My student, a high school kid I like a lot, went to Japan on a field trip with 200 or so Korean classmates. He said he was surprised by a couple of things:

1. "They say Japanese girls are ugly. But it's not true!"

2. Him: "A little Japanese girl was eating cookies and she dropped the box. All the cookies spilled onto the street. She threw them away in a garbage can."

Me: "I don't get it. Why is that interesting?"

Him: "Koreans don't do that. They just leave the trash on the street."

I taught him "litter" and he said that there wasn't much of it on the streets of Osaka and the other cities that they visited.

He is a nice kid. I'm glad to see him getting some overseas experience. He has a healthy curiousity. He likes to watch "Friends" and read "Calvin and Hobbes."

Student's Korean War story

2006-09-21T15:09:00.000+09:00

I teach a class at a company in the morning. The three students are older businessman. They are fun.

Today one question from the reading was "When were you born?" One man answered "1944." I asked if he remembered the Korean War. He told us this story:

He was born in Kaesong. [A well known location just north of the DMZ where North Korean employees work in factories operated by South Koreans. Not sure whether the North Koreans actually receive their wages, as the money first goes to the North Korean government, but that's another story.]

His father was the first of his family to escape to the South. Then my student walked with his family, through the cold in January, from Kaesong to Pyeongtaek (about an hour south of Seoul). It took a month. He said they, and many other families, walked along railroad tracks.

The students wanted me to know the meaning of "피난자" which was "refugee."

It was an interesting story. My student has no sympathy with the current administration's dealings with North Korea or with tourist visits to North Korea.

Chuseok travel stat

2006-09-19T14:01:00.000+09:00

A student explains the giant whooshing sound of single Koreans heading out of the country for the upcoming holiday:

80% of unmarried people are going to take a trip abroad at Chuseok

This year, the Chuseok holidays will be longer than other years. It will be a good chance for employees to do something which takes a long time, like having plastic surgery or taking a long trip. So all tickets for flights leaving on Chuseok day already sold out three months ago. Then, who booked these tickets? Ticket agencies say that 80% of booked tickets are for unmarried people, the other 20% are for families.

Why do many unmarried people want to go somewhere at Chuseok? Chuseok is one of the traditional holidays in Korea. All family members come together even if they live in other countries. Traditionally, the head of a family thinks marriage is really important for life. So if there are unmarried people in a family, they feel so guilty during the Chuseok holidays. According to one research result, 80% of unmarried people are going to take a trip abroad at Chuseok to escape from nagging.

비MW

2006-09-18T16:38:00.001+09:00

비 now endorses BMW Korea. Oh, jeez. Talk about a mismatch.

비 (that's "Rain" in Korean) is 23-year-old Korean singer/dancer whose picture I don't want to post here. He's a terrible actor and his songs are lame. When a Korean girl tells me that her favorite singer is 비 I can tell that she doesn't care much for music.

비 is way too young to be chosen by BMW. I don't know why they wouldn't pick a cooler older guy. The brand image just took a hit in my eyes.

비 appears in a "film" as part of the ad campaign. It uses the tired cliche of a hero in pain holding a gun to the head of the bad guy. In this case it's because the hero lost his love, an innocent ballerina. What that has to do with fine German engineering is anyone's guess. Korean cheese meets German quality.

Koreans have this great concept of "anti-fan." Put me squarely in the 비 anti-fan camp.

See all the crap here if you want:
http://www.bmwmeetstruth.com/

What's with the nonsensical slogan "BMW meets truth"?

More Good Student Writing: 'Go Choo Jang' Guys

2006-09-12T14:21:00.000+09:00

You may have read the earlier post about Deonjang Girls. Here is a related story about Go Choo Jang Guys. They are poor and have to study hard. They can't afford to spend money at Starbucks. I'll let my student continue. Her writing is poignant:

고추장남에 대하여 (About 'Go Choo Jang' Guys)

A couple of weeks ago, "Doenjang Girls" were heating up the Internet. Before long, the Doenjang Girls story had become a hot issue on the net. Many similar stories were created on the net. “고추장남” is one of these stories. 고추장남 are the total opposite of Doenjang Girls.

고추장남 are not only poor, but also behave like poor people. This is a short story about a day in the life of a 고추장남.

A 고추장남 wakes up at 9:30 in the morning with his cell phone alarm ringing. He is late for his class but he decides to take a local bus instead of a public bus. The fare for a local bus is 300 won cheaper than a public bus, so he walks to a local bus stop past a public bus stop. After a morning class, he goes to a convenience store to have lunch, because a cafeteria is expensive.

After school, he goes directly back home. He has no friends in the class; his only friend is a computer. He feels so proud when he posts a comment on the net. He plays online games and talks with online friends. He promises himself that, when he has a lot of money, he will buy some items which he really wants but that are too expensive right now. It's time to have dinner, but he doesn't need to worry about what he will eat tonight: just noodles and a cup of instant boiled rice are all he has for dinner everyday.

After the meal, he goes to a small store to buy a pack of cigarettes. He finds some coins in his pocket but not enough. He looks down on the ground and picks a cigarette butt up. He smokes it and complains that his mother didn't send enough money.

Celebrity News

2006-08-27T16:56:00.000+09:00

One of my favorite Korean celebrities, Lee Hui Jae, caught heat last month from netizens. I can't think of a better reason to support him.

You would think that netizens might have something better to do than sit around smoky PC bangs all day (and night) and criticize someone with a sense of humor and a job, but you would be wrong.
Lee Hui Jae is on "Imagination Plus" on Thursday nights. I recommend it.

I translated an Internet article. Thanks to teacher Joanne for help:

이휘재, 잇단 말실수에 네티즌 '쓴소리'
Lee Hui Jae’s continual slips of the tongue drawing netizens’ criticism

[머니투데이 스타뉴스 김수진 기자] 개그맨 이휘재가 '상상플러스'에서 잦은 말실수로 네티즌들에게 쓴소리를 듣고 있다.
[Money Today Star News – Kim Soo Jin, reporter] Comedian Lee Hui Jae is hearing complaints from netizens for his repeated inappropriate remarks on “Imagination Plus.”

이휘재는 지난 25일 방송된 KBS 2TV '상상플러스-올드 앤 뉴'에서 초대손님으로 출연한 신애라에게 '신마님' 대신 '신마담'이라고 칭하는 말실수를 했다.
On KBS 2TV’s broadcast of “Imagination Plus – Old and New” on the 25th, Lee Hui Jae, as the host, introduced performer Shin Ae Rah by calling her “Madam Shin” instead of “Ms. Shin.”

그는 신애라를 소개하며 "신마담이 오셨습니다"라고 말했다. 이휘재의 이같은 발언으로 출연자들은 웃음을 참지 못했다. 더욱이 MC인 탁재훈은 이휘재에게 "평소 습관이 나온 것이 아니냐"고 말해 더욱 웃음을 자아냈다.
While introducing Shin Ae Rah, Lee Hui Jae quipped “‘Madam Shin’ has joined us today.” Other performers couldn’t stop laughing at Lee Hui Jae’s remarks. Furthermore, co-MC Taek Jae Hoon said to Lee Hui Jae, “Your usual habits are coming out, aren’t they?" [i.e., only a person who goes to room salons would say that], drawing further laughs.

하지만 이같은 이휘재의 말실수에 대해 네티즌들의 시선은 곱지 않다. 지난 4월 이휘재가 방송도중 '손가락 욕'로 한 차례 파문을 일으켰으며, 이후에도 정형돈에게 '땅거지'라고 칭해 네티즌들의 구설수에 올랐다.
But netizens did not like these comments by Lee Hui Jae. Back in April, Lee Hui Jae’s use of his middle finger caused a stir, and a later incident in which Lee Hui Jae called Jung Hyeong Don a “beggar” caused abuse from netizens.

방송이후 이 프로그램의 시청자 게시판에는 "아무리 프로그램의 재미를 위해서라지만 공영방송에서 부적절한 말인 것 같다. 말 한마디라도 신중을 기해야 한다"는 시청자들의 비판과 당부의 글들이 홍수를 이루고 있다.
Following the broadcast, a viewer of the program wrote on a chat board, “However interesting the program is, harm has been done, and these kinds of remarks seem unsuitable for a public broadcast. Prudence must be taken with every single word.” Viewers’ comments and entreaties flooded message boards.

한편, 탁재훈은 이날 방송에서 차인표와 대중목욕탕에서 벌거벗은 채로 마주쳐 어색하게 짧은 인사를 나눈 사연을 고백하기도 했다.
Meanwhile, on the same broadcast, co-host Taek Jae Hoon and Cha In Pyo confessed that they ran into each other, naked, at a public bathhouse and speechlessly gave a short greeting before parting.

skyaromy@mtstarnews.com

----------------------------------------

Hyun Young then came to Lee Hui Jae's defense. Good for her.

<조이뉴스24>

현영, "저 휘재 오빠 좋아해요"
Hyun Young says, "I Like Hui Jae"

현재 촬영중인 영화 '조폭마누라3'에서 연변 처녀를 연기 중인 현영이 개그맨 이휘재의 팬임을 밝혀 눈길을 끌었다.
Currently filming the movie “Gangster Wife 3,” in which she plays a Chinese girl, Hyun Young revealed that she is a fan of comedian Lee Hui Jae.

25일 KBS2 오락프로 '상상플러스'에 목소리(?)만 출연한 현영은 조혜련과의 전화 통화 도중 이같은 사실을 밝혔다.
On the 25th, on KBS’s entertainment show “Imagination Plus,” actress Hyun Young, in the middle of a phone call with Cho Hye Ryun, showed her support for Lee Hui Jae.

이 날 정답 '저지레'를 놓고 대결을 펼치던 중 조혜련은 평소 친분이 많은 현영에게 도움을 요청하기 위해 전화를 걸었다.
On that day, Cho Hye Ryun called her close friend Hyun Young with a request for help with an answer to a question about the word “저지레” in a quiz showdown.

이런 저런 인사가 오간 뒤 조혜련이 "지금 '상상플러스' 녹화 중"이라고 밝히자 현영은 화색이 도는 목소리로 이휘재를 찾았다.
After a few minutes of talking, Cho Hye Ryun said, “I’m at the filming of ‘Imagination Plus,’” after which Hyun Young asked if Lee Hui Jae was there.

이어 조혜련은 전화를 이휘재에게 넘겼고 현영은 "저 휘재오빠 좋아해요. 팬이에요"라고 들뜬 목소리로 고백했다.
Then Cho Hye Ryun passed the phone over to Lee Hui Jae. Hyun Young told him “I like you ‘older brother’ Hui Jae. I’m a fan,” she confessed in an excited voice.

이휘재는 "너 언제는 동엽이 형 좋아한다며?"라고 물었고 현영은 "동엽이 오빠는 얼마전 결혼했잖아!"라고 답해 스튜디오는 웃음 바다가 됐다.
To which Lee Hui Jae replied “You said that you like Dong Yeob, didn’t you?” Hyun Young answered, “You know he got married a few months ago!,” drawing laughter from the studio audience.

이 날 게임이 한참 진행되고 있을 무렵 현영은 뜬금없는 정답 "저질이야"와 함께 "휘재 오빠 화이팅!"을 문자로 보내 이휘재에 대한 각별한 애정(?)을 과시했다.
During a break in that day’s game, Hyun Young sent a text message, unexpectedly, in which she wrote “I don’t think my answer is any good” and “Hui Jae Oppa Fighting!,” thus revealing her special affection (?) for Hui Jae.

/이지영기자 jyl@joynews24.com 사진 김동욱기자 gphoto@joynews24.com
IT는 아이뉴스24, 연예스포츠는 조이뉴스24
(Copyright ⓒ 조이뉴스24. 무단전재 및 재배포 금지)

---------------------------------------

Finally, here is a photo of Hyun Young looking about as good as possible, except for the face whitener:

Little Girl at a Restaurant Story

2006-08-15T19:46:00.000+09:00

I went out alone to eat at a small place. I had 갈국수 (hot noodle soup). Just before I left a funny thing happened.

I went to get some water from the water cooler. I got a cup out of the glass cabinet. A little girl, not more than 4 years old, came over to get some water. She had just come in with her dad. She couldn't reach the cups, so I got one and handed it down to her.

She filled up her cup while talking to me in Korean. I said something like "한국말 잘 못 해서 다 못 알아 듣겠어" ("I can't speak Korean well so I don't understand everything you say"). She looked at me as if to say "Why would anyone say a thing like that?" and kept talking.

After she filled up her cup, she stayed and watched while I filled up mine, talking to me some more. Then when I finished she suddenly took my cup out of my hand and said "this one's for Papa," and walked away with the two cups -- one for her and one for her dad.

I laughed and said "Ok, that one's for Papa" and let her go.

Doenjang Girl and Doenjang Guy

2006-08-07T11:12:00.000+09:00

My friend and former student, Rachel, has written a piece on a current topic. I think it's witty. See below:

Doenjang Girl and Doenjang Guy

“Doenjang Girls” are heating up the Internet. The term Doenjang Girl was coined by adding “girl” to the Korean word for soybean paste, “Doenjang.” Doenjang girls go crazy for American soap dramas, have meals at family restaurants such as TGI, Bennigan’s, and VIPS, and drink Starbucks coffee. The controversy over Doenjang girls originated from conflict over the high price of Starbucks coffee. Starbucks coffee is unconvincingly expensive so there has been talk of boycotting Starbucks but it’s impossible because Doenjang girls consume so much Starbucks coffee.

Whatever the starting spot was, Doenjang girls have become a hot issue on the net. A short fictional story, “A day in the life of a Doenjang girl,” which appeared about a month ago, made a big hit on the Internet: A Doenjang girl wakes up 3 hours before class because she has to put on heavy makeup, do her hair, and decide what to wear. Her outfit is too much for school but she blames other girls for their shabby appearance instead. She takes a seat on a bus for which the fee is 300 won higher than ordinary ones because she thinks she deserves high class. She has many friends who are also Doenjang girls and they have lunch at VIPS. They talk about fashion and men, and they gossip over lunch. They take pictures of what they eat at VIPS in order to put those up on their Cyworld homepages thinking expensive dishes shows their high quality lifestyle. After lunch, they move directly to Starbucks. They fantasize about being four women in the American drama, "Sex and the City." On the way home, a Doenjang girl stops by the gym to burn the fat she had that day. She rides a bicycle reading a fashion magazine and having the illusion that soon she will have a figure as nice as Jessica Alba’s. She dreams of getting married to a rich man so that she can buy Chanel bags. This is a Doenjang girl’s typical day.

Doenjang guys are similar to Doenjang girls in their vanity. A Doenjang guy just finished his military service. He wakes up late when his mother yells at him. He arranges his hair with wax, which a Blue Club designer told him to do. The only thing he cares about is his hair style because he has born a grudge about short hair since his military service. He asks his mom for money to spend that day. He takes a bus that goes to his school via a women’s school, not a bus directly to his school. Later, when he bumps into girls at his school, he offers to buy them lunch but the girls turn him down. With his Doenjang friends, he grades girls by looks as they pass. They skip classes and go to a billiard hall and a PC Bang. When the sun sets, they go to drink soju. This is the daily routine of a Doenjang guy.

Certainly, Doenjang girls and Doenjang guys reflect an aspect of our society. Look around, they are easy to find. People blame Doenjang girls and Doenjang guys for their vanity. Because Doenjang girls and guys are college students, they are asked to study hard and work hard for the future. Yes, they forget their duty as students, but judging their personality by their lifestyle and judging all of them by some Doenjang people’s thinking is wrong. You don’t know what they think deep inside. We should respect their lifestyle as we do the lifestyles of others. We can’t denounce them for spending money on what they think is valuable. You don’t like Doenjang people but you can express your opinion to your friends and on your blog; however, you shouldn’t attack them in a public way.

Better Than Beer

2006-08-06T20:16:00.000+09:00

There's a chain of drinking places here called "Better Than Beer." It's a Hooters wannabe.

They have some rules displayed at the table, which I have translated:

Etiquette with the Beer Girls

비어걸즈와 함께하는 에티켓

1. Too Hot! Don’t Touch!

예쁘고 친절한 비어걸의 인상이 찡그러지지 않도록 지나친 접촉은 하지 말아주시면 감사^^
In order not to make the cute and kind beer girls upset, please don’t go too far by touching them.^^

2. Your Eyes Only!

천사같은 비어걸의 마음이 다치지 않도록 눈으로만 바라봐주세요^^
In order not to hurt the beer girls, who are like angels, we hope you will use your eyes only.^^

3. No Dirty Stories, Dirty Jokes!

순수한 비어걸은 짓곷은 농담은 싫어해요~
The beer girls are pure and don’t like dirty jokes~

P.S. 미소가 아름답고 예쁜 비어걸과 함께 BTB에서 즐거운 시간 보내세요.
P.S. Spend a pleasant time at Better Than Beer together with the beer girls, who are cute and have beautiful smiles.

www.BetterThanBeer.co.kr

-------------------------------

As far as I know, no rules are posted at Hooters. I'm sure some of my U.S. readers can enlighten me.

More on Miss Moon

2006-07-10T18:35:00.000+09:00

I translated another article about Moon Geun Young. (Thanks to students Kelly and Joanne for the help.)

I wonder who saddled Miss Moon with the unfortunate nickname, "The Nation's Little Sister." It pigeonholes her and doesn't allow her to grow up. The Shirley Temple syndrome.

These are photos of her new look. Personally, I like her old look better, too, but didn't feel the need to post about it, as did these Chinese fans:

中팬 "문근영, 섹시해지면 안돼!"
Chinese fans say, “Moon Geun Young is getting sexier, but her new look is not her!”

'국민 여동생'으로 많은 사랑받고있는 배우 문근영(19)의 변신에 중국 팬들이 반기(?)를 들고 나섰다.
Chinese fans (anti-fans?) say that the new look for nineteen-year-old Moon Geun Young, “The Nation’s Little Sister” and beloved actress, doesn’t work for them.

중국 최대 포털사이트 시나닷컴은 10일 배우 문근영이 한 화장품 광고 촬영에서 섹시한 화장으로 여성스런 매력을 뽐냈다고 보도했다. 이어 문근영이 최근 각종 화보와 광고를 통해 성숙한 여인의 매력을 풍기고 있다고 근황을 전했다.
On the 10th of this month, on China’s biggest portal site, sina.com.cn, fans reported that Moon Geun Young showed off her new sexy makeup style while filming a cosmetics commercial. In both her new photo album and the commercial she has a new adult appearance, fans wrote.

이 기사에 대해 중국 네티즌들은 "청순하고 귀여운 예전의 이미지가 더 낫다"는 반응을 보이고 있다.
The response of Chinese netizens seemed to be “Her former innocent, cute image was better.”

한 네티즌(IP 218.22.66.*)은 "(화장으로 섹시해진 모습이) 그렇게 예뻐보이지 않는다. 너무 섹시한 모습은 문근영에게 맞지 않는다"고 말했다. 또 다른 네티즌(IP 218.28.38.*)도 "청순하고 귀여운 모습이 더 어울린다"고 전했다.
One netizen (IP 218.22.66) wrote, “This makeup and new sexier appearance don’t look cute. A super-sexy look doesn’t suit her,” the fan said. Another netizen (IP 218.28.38) wrote, “An innocent and cute appearance fits her better.”

문근영은 중국에서 높은 인기를 얻은 드라마 '가을 동화'에서 송혜교의 아역으로 대륙에 얼굴은 알렸다. 이후 배우 김래원과 주연한 영화 '어린신부'에서 깨끗하고 발랄한 이미지로 높은 인기를 얻었다.
Through her role as the young girl Song Hye Gyo in the popular drama “Fall Fairy Tale,” Moon Geun Young became one of Asia’s best-known faces. Her co-starring role, along with Kim Rye Won, in the movie “Young Bride” and her clean, fresh image have made her widely popular.

한편 문근영은 올 가을 개봉 예정인 영화 '사랑따윈 필요없어'에서 대부호의 상속녀 '류민'역으로 첫 성인연기를 펼쳐보인다.
Meanwhile, in the movie “Love, I Don’t Need It,” scheduled for release this fall, Moon Geun Young will play her first adult role as the wealthy heiress Ryu Min.

/박은경기자 imit@joynews24.com
Reporter Park Eun Kyoung

IT는 아이뉴스24, 연예스포츠는 조이뉴스24
IT I-News, Yeon Yae Sports, Joy News 24

(Copyright ⓒ 조이뉴스24. 무단전재 및 재배포 금지)
(Copyright Joy News 24. Reproduction prohibited.)

Interview with the Mayor

2006-07-10T16:37:00.000+09:00

An interview with the new mayor of Seoul, Oh Se-hoon, was published today in the Joong Ang Daily:

I liked some of the things that he had to say. Here are some quotes from the article, and comments:

He has a goal, he said, of attracting 12 million travelers a year to the city during his term, more than double the current number. "I purposely set an unreasonably high target in order to stress my strong determination," he said.

Setting an unreasonably high target is very Korean. It makes me laugh, but also admire Koreans' drive and spirit.

"As Rome is noted for history and Paris for art and fashion, Seoul needs to have a unique identity," Mr. Oh said. He envisions elevating the Han River to the same instant identification with the city as the Seine in Paris, for example.

Koreans can be somewhat obsessed about benchmarking themselves against others. (And I use "benchmark" as a verb, which I've only heard Koreans do. I wonder if that usage is becoming popular elsewhere, or if it is just a Korean thing.)

The Han River is not the Seine (not that that's the mayor's point) because of the distance between the banks; the Han is too wide.

However, having said that, there is a lot of space on both sides of the Han for development, and I can see it being better than it already is.

He also wants to stress the city's history and modern elements. "Seoul is an interesting place already, where history meets cutting edge technology," he said, "and this gives us the potential to put Seoul on the same level with neighboring cities like Tokyo and Shanghai.

(More benchmarking.) Seoul does have interesting areas "where history meets cutting edge technology." Downtown, gates and stone castle walls mingle with skyscapers.

He's got some social renovation ideas as well. To develop the image of culture for Seoul, Mr. Oh proposes to start with Seoulites' daily lives. "We are now living with a daily routine of spending evenings with co-workers, drinking and going to a karaoke," he said, "I'd like our citizens to build their lifestyles with their families at the center, and it's my job to make the proper environment." He said he wants to develop dozens of neighborhood parks around the city's streams as places where families can pass time together. "I'd love to see families spending evenings on the parks along the streams, running into trumpet players or poets reading their work," Mr. Oh said. "Once citizens can enjoy culture in everyday life, Seoul will be seen as a cultural city, and that can be its brand."

This was my favorite part. The drinking culture here is way over the top (or "so 오바", as I like to say about anything overboard now, after hearing two 교포 girls use it on the bus). I commend anyone who encourages Korean fathers to go home early, and to walk outside with their kids. However well-intentioned the mayor is, though, this idea seems a bit naive. It will take a lot to get dads home from drinking. Plus, their kids will be in hagwons until late, anyway, and won't be able to go out with mom and pop for a stroll.

I don't mean to be cynical about it: I like the idea, just don't know how practical it can be.

Side note: I predict we see a lot of new streams. Already I see an almost-finished one in Gwaechon, and I can envision numerous municipalities trying to copy Cheong Gye Cheon -- to the point where it becomes a cliche (how to make that little thing over the 'e'?). I like the original.

He noted in his inaugural address last week that expatriates cited air pollution in a recent survey as the leading problem in life here.

Perhaps the survey was taken during "황사 Week." For me, air pollution isn't the biggest problem in life here. I would put drivers' manners at #1, followed by subway manners at #2, with spitting getting the bronze. A special Lifetime Achievement Award goes to immigration rules and policies that demand trips abroad for visa renewals and indentured servitude for English teachers.

Asked about how he wants to use the U.S. Army site in Yongsan when it moves to southern Gyeonggi province in 2008, Mr. Oh said it has to be a park. "Yongsan has long been the base of foreign armies, an obstacle to the city's development as a whole and a place that ruined the pride of the citizens," Mr. Oh said. "When the site is returned, I feel the need to make it a public park, as popular as Central Park in New York or Hyde Park in London." He said the park would be completed by 2015, although he said he could provide no details before the military relocation actually took place.

Yay, great idea. And a new place to run in Seoul.

On an issue where his position would probably be no different whatever his political affiliation, Mr. Oh said he opposed the relocation of Korea's administrative capital to a new site in the Chungcheong region south of Seoul. The move is an important issue for President Roh Moo-hyun."The relocation will lead to inefficiency in using administration power and a weakening of crisis management," Mr. Oh said, "It is the wrong direction in localization, which only hampers the true development of the capital and the metropolitan area."

Yay, again. I never did like that plan, just on principle. It's too prescriptive, if that's the right word. Too controlling.

Moon Geun Young (문근영) article

2006-07-09T12:02:00.000+09:00

Lately, I've been studying Korean by translating articles from entertainment newspapers and websites. It's a fun way to practice.

Here is a translation I finished yesterday. (Thanks to students Kelly and Rachel for their tips.)

문근영 "한국이 이겨 너무 기쁘다..영표씨 파이팅"
Moon Geun Young “Korea’s Win Makes Me So Happy..Lee Young Pyo Fighting!”

[머니투데이 스타뉴스 전형화 기자] 국민여동생 문근영이 대한민국 축구 국가대표 선수들을 앞장서 응원했다.
[Money Today..Star News. Jun Hyung Hwa reporter] The nation’s little sister, Moon Geun Young, led cheers for the Korean national soccer team’s players.

문근영은 13일 서울 압구정 CGV에서 소속사 동료 및 배우들과 함께 토고 전 응원전을 펼쳤다.
Last night, the 13th, at Apkujeong’s CGV Theater, Moon Geun Young, together with her agency co-workers and fellow actors, cheered during the Togo game.

당초 문근영은 영화 '사랑따윈 필요없어' 촬영 때문에 양수리 종합 촬영소에서 토고 전을 응원할 예정이었으나, 일정이 일찍 끝나 김주혁, 김소연, 김혜성 등과 함께 경기를 응원했다.
Due to shooting for her new movie “Love, I Don’t Need It,” Miss Moon and the cast and crew had originally been scheduled to watch the game at Yang Soo Ri Film Studio, but because filming for the day finished early, Miss Moon, Kim Ju Hyuk, Kim So Yeon, and Kim Hye Sung and others cheered together in Apkujeong.

할머니와 함께 빨간색 상의를 입고 영화관에 도착한 문근영은 경기 초반에는 다소 부끄러운 듯 응원에 소극적이었다. 하지만 한국이 선취골을 내주고 극장 분위기가 가라앉자 대한민국을 연호하며 분위기를 이끌었다.
Clad in a red blouse, Miss Moon arrived together with her grandmother at the theater. In the early stages of the game, she sat quietly. After Korea allowed Togo a goal, the mood in the theater was subdued, but immediately afterwards Miss Moon started the chants of “Dae Han Min Guk.”

문근영은 이영표 선수의 열렬한 팬인듯 이영표 선수가 공을 잡을 때마다 '영표씨 파이팅'을 외쳤다. 응원전을 갖던 문근영은 이천수가 한 골을 넣자 자리를 박차고 일어나 옆자리의 할머니와 소속사 직원들과 얼싸안고 기쁨을 나눴다.
Miss Moon seems to be an enthusiastic fan of Lee Young Pyo. Everytime Lee Young Pyo touched the ball, Miss Moon would cry “Young Pyo – Fighting!” When Lee Chun Soo scored Korea’s first goal, Miss Moon leapt to her feet and hugged her grandmother and agency co-workers.

한국의 공격이 연이어지자 문근영은 '한 골 더, 한골 더'를 연이어 외쳐 응원 분위기를 뜨겁게 달궜다.
As the Korean attack continued, Miss Moon led chants of “One More Goal, One More Goal,” adding to the excitement in the room.

문근영은 동점골이 터지고 난 뒤 긴장을 감추지 못한 듯 의자 끝부분에 걸터 앉아 스크린을 뚫어져라 쳐다보며 응원을 했다. 안정환의 동점골이 터지자 문근영은 팔짝 팔짝 뛰어올라 다시 한 번 대한민국을 연호했다. 문근영은 토고의 역습이 이어질 때마다 '안 돼. 막아야돼'를 외치며 안타까움을 표시하기도 했다.
After the tying goal, Miss Moon could not hide her nervousness, and towards the end of the game she perched on the top of her seat, looked up and focused her attention on the screen as if she were going to bore a hole in it [!], and cheered. When Ahn Jung Hwan’s goal broke the tie, she sprang to her feet, jumped up and down, and again cheered “Dae Han Min Guk.” Each time Togo mounted a counter-attack, Miss Moon would fret and call out “No. Defense!”

경기가 한국의 승리로 끝마치고 모든 관객들이 기립해 박수를 치며 승리를 자축하자 문근영은 또 팔짝 팔짝 뛰면서 승리를 기뻐했다.
After the final whistle, the fans, satisfied with Korea’s victory, all rose and applauded. Moon Geun Young jumped up and down and expressed her happiness at the win.

문근영은 "한국이 이겨 너무 너무 기쁘다"며 환하게 웃었다.
Miss Moon beamed as she laughed and said, “Korea’s victory makes me so happy.”

Some Stories from My City Hall Class

2006-06-21T15:03:00.000+09:00

I teach about 15 government officials at City Hall downtown. We meet two nights a week for two hours. The mood is relaxed and fun. With a couple of exceptions, I enjoy the students; they are "characters," as my dad would say.

Here is a touching story that one student told:

He is about 35. As the winner of a contest at City Hall, he won a trip to Malaysia. He took his wife, 6-year-old daughter, and baby to a family resort.

On the first day, he accompanied his daughter to the big indoor play area and left her there. She was really excited. She played all day.

On the second day, his daughter didn't want to go back. My student was perplexed and asked her why. It turned out that the other kids -- Chinese, Japanese, Malaysian, etc. -- spoke English together while playing, even though they were strangers to each other. My student's daughter didn't know how to speak English.

My student went to watch the other kids. He said he was amazed at how easily and naturally they used English.

The happy ending to the story is that the daughter now really wants to learn English. When they got back here to Korea, she made her father promise that he would read an English story to her every night.

I said that I thought that was great. He said, "It's a bit of a burden."

As anyone who lives here knows, Korean office workers work late (it doesn't matter what their official hours are; no one goes by those) so it will not be easy for him to get home every night to do it; still, to call it a "burden" was a bit much, I thought.

Here's a second story:

Last night one student brought in photos from his recent trip to Europe. We turned out the lights, he showed pictures on the screen, we asked him questions, and students were humorously merciless in their teasing.

We saw photos of impressive sites such as the Louvre, Versailles, Swiss mountains, Venice, the Leaning Tower of Pisa, etc.

Then one student, whom I will kindly refer to as being "nationalistic," made this jawdropping comment:

"Generally the scenery our country much better than Europe."

Note the absence of a verb, common sense, and global perspective. I immediately grabbed my pen to get his quote down verbatim. The only thing that makes listening to student statements like that bearable is the knowledge that I can later share the remark with others.

And a third:

The students found out that I had a perfect record and had never eaten dog, so they invited me out for dinner one night before class. Of the ten of us, two had chicken soup (including me) and the others ate dog soup.

One female student and I had agreed that she would share her dog soup with me. She gave me four or five bites.

It wasn't great; it wasn't bad. I can't really compare it to anything. I was expecting something like beef, but it was closer to chicken if anything. The meat was light-colored; the soup was somewhat spicy. I wouldn't order it for myself, but I'd try it again.

Finally:

One would think that all Koreans are rooting for the soccer team to do well in the World Cup, right?

Not so, apparently. Another student's wife is an elementary school principal. She told her husband that some parents had complained to her that the World Cup was keeping their kids from studying. They confided that they secretly hope Korea loses to "Swiss" ("Switzerland" in Korean), so that Korea does not advance to the second round, and their little charges can get back to focusing full-time on the books.

Korean parents are somewhat obsessed about education.

No More Quiet Bus Rides?

2006-05-08T07:27:00.000+09:00

I was a victim of satellite television on a bus this weekend. I rode from Seoul to Jeonju and back — three hours each way.

In the past, I’ve enjoyed the almost complete silence on long-distance buses here — interrupted only occasionally by an inconsiderate, self-important hand phone user.

However, this trip we were beseiged by an OCN action movie on the way down (three hours of that “slap” sound that is unique to poorly-dubbed fight scenes) and some inane Korean stuff on the way back.

I used to love Korean bus rides, but the ubiquitous noise pollution has seeped in.

Subway Game

2006-04-16T16:33:00.000+09:00

Occasionally, a guy on the subway will sit with his legs spread too wide, pressing his knee into mine. I think that most Korean guys who try this are fully aware of what they are doing, and are playing a macho game of "Let's see if the foreigner will acquiesce like a wimp if I invade his space." I'm not saying they target foreigners specifically; they are equal opportunity offenders.

I've got a defense against this behavior that others might want to try. (I'm a 6'1'' male, by the way.)

I first look down at his knee for an exagerrated length of time -- 5 or 10 seconds. Then I point at it, while still looking at it, and say "실레지만" ("pardon me") quietly.

At this point, he'll usually move it. However, if he doesn't, I go to step 2, my favorite:

I gently put my hand on the inside of his knee. This is too close for comfort for him, so he will instinctively flinch and close his legs.

Hasn't failed me yet, and it's funny, without being too aggressive.

High School Kids

2006-04-15T22:55:00.000+09:00

The other afternoon about 5:00p.m., I was walking down the hill from the goverment office, where I work, to the bus stop. I passed by the high school there, and four boys in their school uniforms were walking on the sidewalk about 20 meters ahead of me. They were having fun teasing two girls who were walking on the other side of the street from us. It was healthy, fun razzing.

After about a minute of this, the boys took a left, and one of them, as a funny way to say goodbye, flipped off the girls. Everybody laughed. Soon afterwards, one of the boys saw me walking behind them. He nudged another of the boys. He, too, looked back and saw me, and they got slightly worried looks on their faces. They wondered if I had seen what had happened.

A couple minutes later I caught up with them at the intersection near the bus stop. In Korean I said to the one kid, "I saw your finger message," and smiled. (손가락 메세지를 봤어요.) It was the closest I could come to saying, "I saw you flip her off." They were bashful. Then we went our separate ways.

I smile when I think about it. It is possible to have fun with the language even when one does not speak it well.

Hyori's smile

2006-03-10T23:25:00.000+09:00

Today's Random Photo

2006-03-10T15:38:00.000+09:00

Here's 재석 (background, white belt) captured at a recent expensive event, which I chose not to attend because I'd feel like a fool spending W100,000 to drool.

Something Stylish for Spring...Jackie Cho

2006-03-10T15:32:00.000+09:00

Some Funny Korean Expressions

2006-03-02T14:19:00.000+09:00

"Skinship" - romantic touching between couples. My Korean friend Rachel said, "I don't like it when a guy wants skinship on a first date. I can tell he's not serious about me."

"Cut the film" - refers to a period during a night of drinking that the speaker is unable to remember later. "I remember going to the singing room -- but after that the film was cut."

"Silver Town" - a retirement community.

"Chicken-skin Couple" (in Korean, "dak-sal couple") - a couple that engages in too many public displays of affection. So named because they make your skin crawl. "You don't see many older Koreans at Pizza Hut, but the entire second floor is full of dak-sal couples." Or, my joke upon entering Pizza Hut, "Waitress, we'd like a table away from the dak-sal couples, please."

"Date course" - a place that attracts a lot of couples on dates. "He's taken his girlfriend to all the date courses: Namsan Tower, Yeoido for the cherry blossoms, etc."

Knuckleheads

2006-02-16T22:38:00.000+09:00

Check out the English names of some of the students in my City Hall class:

1. Scoll
2. Snoopy
3. Shakespeare
4. B.F.
5. Carpenter
6. Mets

All of them are men, except for B.F. -- and she must have no idea what her name means.

This group of students has been together since at least last year. I started teaching them just a couple of weeks ago. To the teacher who allowed these names in the first place: What the heck were you thinking?

I debated whether or not to ask them to change their names, or to insist that they do, and decided not to for two reasons: they know each other by those names and use them frequently; and I sensed that I might spoil the class 분위기 ("mood", "atmosphere") if I insisted on it.

Since then, however, I have learned a good way to deal with this kind of situation: Show the students how ridiculous it is by turning it around and giving yourself a stupid Korean name. For example, I could tell "Mets" that my new Korean name is "Doosan Bears." "No, no , no" the students would certainly cry. Then I could find out the name of a famous Korean author and tell "Shakespeare" about my new Korean name...and so on. (Credit to Michael M., formerly of Gangnam Pagoda, for the idea.)

These are nice students -- friendly, energetic, and professional. However, tonight they baffled me. One student told me that I look like Richard Nixon!?! Another that I look "very like Roger Moore." I have gotten comparisons to Pierce Brosnan before, but this was only the second Roger Moore call. Another student, the gay Christian (who doesn't know he's gay, or doesn't want to know -- he's married, by the way), told me that I looked "so handsome." I told them to lay off the crack.

I'll post a photo tomorrow to show you how little I resemble Richard Nixon or Roger Moore.

Jalen and Warner

2005-12-05T08:01:00.000+09:00

Two stud bulls from back home in America. Jalen (left) and Warner.

Published in the JoongAng Daily, October 16, 2005

2005-12-05T07:53:00.000+09:00

[LETTERS to the editor]One question unanswered

I read with interest the article about Mr. Kang Jeong-koo, the notoriously left-leaning lecturer at Dongguk University. However, an important question was left unanswered. Putting aside my opinion on Mr. Kang's views (I do not agree with him, but acknowledge his right to express himself freely in a democratic society ― whether or not it violates the National Security Law is another matter), I have to ask: What were 20 reporters doing in his classroom? As a teacher, I know the presence of even one guest can sometimes affect the classroom dynamic.

If the school allowed the intrusion, shame on them for turning a class into a circus. If Mr. Kang allowed it, then I have no respect for him as a teacher, because it is obvious his vainglorious quest for controversy compromised his integrity. If the reporters entered without permission, then they did not show much respect for the students' education.

On a more general note, let Mr. Kang and other believers in the North cross the border for a while, and live in a land where integrity and joy are driven out of a person, and then we will see if they are still so eager to mock democracy by praising the society of the Dear Leader.

South Koreans, you do not want to deal with North Korea in its present state. Put aside ideas of tourist visits, unified national teams, brotherhood, and reunification until that hideous regime is no longer in power. They cannot be trusted to respect human dignity.

by Douglas Binns

Hyun Ah

2005-12-03T17:57:00.000+09:00

My student Hyun Ah and her niece.
I wonder if Hyun Ah knows what "foxy" means?

Published in the JoongAng Daily, August 26, 2005

2005-12-03T17:43:00.000+09:00

"Pay Dictator Upgrade Dear Neighbour"

August 26, 2005 ㅡ There is a problem in advertising in Korea that needs to be addressed: It is trendy for big companies to use English slogans, but too many mistakes are being made.

For example, we have Baskin Robbins' new slogan "Ice Cream & City." It is grammatically incorrect. A foreigner would sense that immediately, but for the benefit of non-native-speaker readers, an explanation: "City", as a count noun, needs an article. "Ice Cream & A City" would work, but does not make sense. "Ice Cream & The City" does make sense, but is an obvious rip-off of "Sex and the City" ― and probably was not chosen for that reason.

It is one thing to see incorrect English in Korea on a sign, or on a T-shirt, or even in a store name ― but in a national advertising slogan?

This latest blunder joins a list of other ill-considered ideas that includes KTF's "Have a Good Time," Pagoda's former slogan "You Can Do," and Samsung's "Bravo Your Life."

For the record: "Have a good time" can only be used when the speaker knows what the listener intends to do after the conversation. For example, yesterday, at a store, a helpful clerk thanked me for my purchase and told me to "Have a good time." However, since he did not know what I planned to do after leaving the store, he should have used "Have a good day." (Or "Have a good night," as appropriate.) The slogan itself is not grammatically incorrect; however, Koreans, not knowing any better, are using the sentence incorrectly in conversation.

"You Can Do" was especially bothersome because it was the slogan of Korea's biggest English language chain. How ironic! "Do" is a transitive verb and needs an object, so "You Can Do It" is correct. "Bravo Your Life" comes from Korea's biggest company. Ironically, Samsung has been spending millions of dollars in America to promote itself as a high-end brand, and then they turn around and mar their image by using a ridiculous English slogan in Korea. "Bravo" is not a verb. Might as well say "Money Your Life" or "Kimchi Your Life" or "Ah-ee-go Your Slogan."

Don't the advertisers check with native speakers before adopting these slogans? And if they do, are the native speakers overruled? By someone who doesn't speak English fluently, but whose decision goes unquestioned in this Confucian society? Does that make sense? Does grammar matter?

I have heard the argument that this is "creative" English, that Koreans are more comfortable with these easy slogans, that I should not let it bother me, E - T - C (as a student might say). I don't buy it. Reversing the roles, I would not presume to invent a slogan in Korean without checking it first with native Korean speakers, so why should it be any different in the present case?

Some suggestions: To Teachers: Introduce these slogans in your class and make a game of it: "Find the Grammar Mistakes in These English Slogans Used by Large Companies in a Country In Which Government and Business Leaders Can't Stop Talking About Being an International Hub." To Korean companies: Spend just a few million won of your huge advertising budgets to hire me to vet your English slogans. I will be able to finish the job in less than a minute, you will have a slogan that will not disappoint foreigners, and we can all go to a room salon to celebrate the deal! While there, we can "bravo" some room salon girls and "Have a good time."

While reading over what I have written so far, I saw a couple of commercials on TV. "Change the Life" was a new one for me, and I saw the old favorite, "Everyday New Face." Is that a plastic surgery ad? I just saw another ad. This one had "Everyday Fresh" as the tag line. It was for yogurt ― not feminine protection.

Finally, "North Korea Feeling Fresh," "Kim Jong Il Excite," and "Pay Dictator, Upgrade Dear Neighbor," are possible new slogans for the Roh administration to consider if they would like to jump on the Bad English Bandwagon.

by Douglas Binns

Young Mi

2005-12-03T17:04:00.000+09:00

Artsy photo of Young Mi.
She studies English in Australia.

9th Bud Rock Concert

2005-12-03T16:16:00.000+09:00

9th Bud Rock Concert

What!
EX
Delispice
Rumble Fish
Nell
Pia
Crying Nut
Jaurim

From the paper: Nov. 26: “9th Bud Rock Concert.” This concert includes many of the big players on the Korean indie rock scene, including Crying Nut, Delispice, Jaurim, Pia, Nell, and Rumble Fish. There will also be a rare appearance by baseball player-turned-singer Lee Sang-hun and his band, What! Tickets are 22,000 won. The show starts at 6 p.m. Olympic Park station, line No. 5, exit 3. (02) 3141-6560, www.bud.co.kr

A: I went to the 9th Bud Rock Concert last night.

B: How was it?

A: Good.

B: Where was it?

A: Hard to tell you. Somewhere out on line 5. Somewhere far from the station. Somewhere far away in a complex of Olympic buildings. Good thing I went with my Korean friend. Even she was having a hard time finding it. Go past the "god" concert (that's the name of a boy band), keep walking ‘til it starts raining, then ask some young guys sitting on concrete steps outside in the cold. They’ll point to the building behind them, which has no lights on its exterior, and no visible sign on that side of the building. Good luck.

B: Who played first?

A: What!

B: I asked, “Who played first?”

A: What!

B: Who sucked?

A: What!

B: Why did they suck?

A: Loud, unmelodic, sludgy grunge with attitude. Fell out of favor in America years ago. Apparently just getting to these shores.

B: Was it original when the lead singer / guitarist smashed his guitar after their three-song mini-set?

A: No.

B: Who was next?

A: A fun little pop group called EX. They had a female singer and bass player. Kind of a Jaurim lite. They played a Korean original and then two English covers: “Kiss Me” and “Video Killed the Radio Star.”

B: And then?

A: Delispice. Odd name. They are a British-influenced four piece. The songwriting wasn’t too imaginative, as all songs had the same 4/4 feel. Good singer / lead guitarist, though.

A: After that?

B: Rumble Fish. Three guys backing a female singer. She impressed me when she sang on the mic – good use of eyes and stillness – but her hunched posture was unattractive when she stalked the stage. Like their video on MTV, though.

A: And then came…?

B: A shriek of excitement when the next band, Nell, had their picture posted on the video screens. There was an almost sexual sound in the crowd’s reaction.

A: Were they any good?

B: Yes.

A: Describe them.

B: Their sensitive numbers are full of romantic guitar arpeggios, like the Cranberries, and they also reminded me a bit of earlier, soft Radiohead (a la “Fake Plastic Trees”). The singer's voice sounded familiar, and I couldn't place it until I realized that he sounded like the singer for Strawbs, a 70's prog/prop band from England. (I bet I hadn't thought of that band in 15 years.) Anyway, Nell's songs are rich and full, with great extended melodies, singing, and backing vocals. The lead singer has Harry Potter glasses. Their yearning, aching, dramatic songs resonate emotionally with the young crowd, akin to the way the bedsit anthems of Morrissey or Soft Cell once did.

A: What stopped them from being insufferably precious then?

B: Their dry, between-song jokes about concert-sponsor Budweiser.

A: Who was on next?

B: Pia.

A: What does that name mean?

B: It’s common here. It’s comes from the word “utopia.” Inexplicably, the shortened form “Pia” is often used in advertising, for example in the name of the chain of bars called “Happy Liquor Pia.”

A: And were they any good?

B: No.

A: What wasn’t to like?

B: They trap themselves into a corner with their militant, angry sound. Similar to, say, Nine Inch Nails or Rage Against the Machine, there is nowhere to go with all rage, all anger, all the time.

A: Was it a good idea for them to use a lot of special effects involving fire?

B: Of course not.

A: Who was on after them?

B: Crying Nut.

A: Could you tell by the name that they would be wacky frat-rockers?

B: Uh-huh. Rock for red-faced young ajushis (literally "uncle", more generally "middle-aged men") who will never see the inside of a library or a foreign country. Nice version of “La Bamba” though. Singer handled the Spanish well.

A: And finally, what act graced the stage?

B: Jaurim. Leave it to them to clean up the mess (figuratively speaking) that Crying Nut left on the stage. What can you say about this group? Along with august company such as David Bowie and Mick Jagger, the singer has the best stage presence I’ve ever seen.

It was a mistake to start with a ballad, however. Festival show closers have been making this mistake for years. They follow loud, rowdy bands by showing they are above crowd pandering and are more artistic – but it doesn’t work. In thinking about it, though, it may have to be that way; otherwise there is nothing from which to build to a climax.

Anyway, by the second song Kim Yoon-Ah had her guitar off. Nice fashion choice with the backless red dress. Sexy. But (as with my Korean teacher Arumi -- shout out!) Kim Yoon Ah’s attractiveness lies not just in her beauty, but also in her intelligence, skill at her craft, and sense of fun.

Their second number was “Summertime.” (“…and the livin’ is easy.”) Flawless English. She worked the stage like a true pro. Very impressive.

Then came the hits and, pointing at her watch between songs, she asked for the crowd’s indulgence, as they had to leave the stage earlier than they wanted to, in order to end on time.

B: How long was the concert?

A: Exactly 200 minutes. I know because it said so on the tickets.

B: Okay. So what other impressions did you have of the concert? For example, did you think it was a good idea that hits by Bryan Adams and Poison were played loudly on the sound system between acts?

A: Of course not.

B: How about Motley Crue’s “Dr. Feelgood”?

A: Now that is another story. The Crue (where is that umlaut button?) rarely sounded so good. It was nirvana.

B: Nirvana played?

A: Yes, Dr. Hwang came out of seclusion and cloned Kurt Cobain.

B: What else?

A: We each got a free can of Bud as we left the venue. So young fans could be spotted up and down the subway car drinking their cans of Bud.

B: Were there any other whiteys in attendance?

A: I saw a few. I waved half-heartedly to one guy’s back after he passed by, in an ironic way -- just to amuse the Koreans sitting around me -- and whitey didn’t see me.

B: What else?

A: I was impressed by the number of young couples who brought their kids. I saw a few five and six-year-olds. I thought that was odd, but cool.

B: How about the crowd in general?

A: Good. Younger than back home. They were a little too willing to give up their individuality by heeding calls to conform by clapping along or swaying their arms from side to side, but knowledgeable and active.

B: And the price?

A: A more-than-reasonable W22,000 (about twenty U.S. dollars).

B: What else?

A: There was no emcee. Acts were “introduced” by having their photo posted on the large video screens to the side and rear of the stage, and then the crowd would roar. Those screens also featured some distracting, hyperactive, geometric displays of flashing effects during some bands’ performances.

B: You mean Koreans went overboard with technology and effects? No way, really?

A: Yeah, and they should shit-can the cameramen that roam the stage and get right up in performers’ faces, like they were at a Korean wedding or something.

B: How were the technical aspects of the concert?

A: First-rate. We were sitting up behind the soundboard. Sounded good, if a bit loud. No major glitches. And the stage crew did a great job getting bands onstage quickly, often in less than five minutes.

B: Rate the bands in order of preference.

A: Gladly:

1st Jaurim
2nd Nell
3rd Rumble Fish
4th EX
5th Delispice
6th Crying Nut
7th Pia
8th What! The Fuck?

B: Would you like to hand out some awards?

A: Yes.

Bronze Medal: To the person who labeled the mosh pit -- for the purpose of identifying the seating section to ticket buyers -- as the “Mania Zone.” Great name. Pronounced "Mania Jone" by Koreans.

Silver Medal: To the Rumble Fish singer. It’s obvious that she puts a lot of work into her voice. She was dead-on the whole set.

Gold Medal: The songwriter for Nell, whoever it is. They are really on to something.

Lifetime Achievement Award: Jaurim. The class of the Korean pop music scene. If the over-hyped “Hallyu” (“Korean Wave”, supposedly sweeping across Asia) included quality like this instead of crap like Bi (pronounced “Bee”), boy bands, and bad dramas it would deserve its press coverage. Kim Yoon Ah could be world famous; she’s that good and her English is good enough. I think they should try to break England. Hire a helper to co-write some good English lyrics – this is where I come in – and go tour there for a season. That would be an achievement and I think they are up to it. Remember when the Brits were proud of themselves for breaking the Sugarcubes (Bjork’s first band) from Iceland, or how Cibo Matto from Japan impressed trendy New Yorkers? I could see Jaurim hitting it big in England in the same way. They would get huge attention from fanboys.

Jaurim's website
http://jaurim.com